In Singapore where is the best place to look for inspirations??? I need it really badly. I need to straighten my life out. I will just go crazy if I dont. I want to know what I want to do for the rest of my life. If only there was someone out there to help me figure it out, it would so make my life much easier.

Well as stated in the title, time really flies. One thing I could say is Poly was not what I expected. None of us did. Thought it would be so much fun and slack, but it is total opposite. I dont why I cant move from my sec life. I think I am too attached to it. Leaving behind my friends and especially my teachers were the hardest thing that I ever did because I am so close to them. Now in Poly, the lecturers arent even the same as we had in Sec Sch, where our teachers are more jovial to be with. I guess we cant expect much. Life is life.

I dont know whether I am too mature for my age or they are too childish. Its worse than primary school that I experience. They dont listen in class, they irritates the teachers. I thought we only do that in pri and sec sch. They are still doing that in Poly. Lame... I pity the lecturers. But if I scold them, what benefits can i get?? only that they will hate me. And I still need them if we were to do project work. So either way, keeping my mouth shut is the best option.

3 years, thats what I keep telling myself. 3 years.



P.S Mr Wee I miss u so much!!!!

Was that the best choice I made?? Going to NP?? I never realised that they were all there. Ya right as if I never thought it before choosing it. But now it comes back to drama once again. One have left because he knew what was there all along, wanting me to have some privacy in life. Now I found out another one coming to the same school. Great. Just great. As if my life isnt full of all this anymore. I dont know what to do. Im I the type that attract trouble?? I guess so since, it doesnt give me a break at all.

Well, choosing the right one is tough, and it has made me to be tough,strong, cold person. but to a certain extent. I dont think I would ever be happy in life. Cause I dont know when is that the right choice or not. Like my parents alway says. Life is like a gambling game. You have to gamble to see whether you hit the jackpot or not, It is like a 50-50 chance of winning. I guess so they were right. I will never know if it was ever the right choice, so gotta take the risk.

I will see how it goes in NP, I guess the first day would be tough, But LOTS of fun.

P.S sorry Mr Wee didnt blog about your birthday, had to go off to Malaysia the next morning at 4am that day. and then i totally forgot.hehe.

When I thought things are going to get better. I was wrong. Everytime something good is finally going to happen. Bad things will take over.

How could you keep it quiet until now?? Until I had to find it out from my bff. You already knew what happened when we were in sec sch but cant you just move forward. I guess you did... But I didnt. I may have meant nothing to you. but you were to me. I thought that at least we would still be together always although we are different, never knew that you would leave me just like that.

Guess you have your own passion to persue. But I dont. I dont blame you. Part of you that want to leave was because of me. I know I have been a pain, but you cope with me through all the hardship. but why, Im asking you why. Are you such a coward? Isnt it hard enough not giving me a proper answer? Why dont just give a direct one. You may not miss me but I will. In my heart always.

I know I'm guilty of making you feel envy. For that Im sorry. It was a way for me to get to know that you cared. And you did.

So take care. See you then. Enjoy your life.

I have planned what I am going to do for these few years. What path to choose and everything. It was nice that I came back to school, the teachers were all supportive so are the students when they asked what course I was posted to. Their reactions will be like,"wow thats a great course" or "thats the highest paid course". Haha. Yup I was lucky to get at least the highest paid course in the poly although it was much of interest to me. Now I am waiting for the reply from NP about taking two courses at the same time. They have part time course biomedical tech. Considering about taking that course at the same time though. But Im still wondering what course should I take after poly. Here is the list:

Veterinary bioscience (Queensland University) singapore doesnt have them
Psychology
NIE ??? Teaching??? Still considering. Relief teaching is fun but dont know if I want to do it for the rest of my life.

But pretty much I have planned everything out. My life now, I'm taking control!

We like to fight over small things. And when one of us are wrong, neither of us want to admit. Our relationship used to be like a roller coaster for this whole 17+ years of my life. We had our ups and downs. And always end up not talking to each other. We would scream at each other for the smallest matter in life. But now, after 17 years I finally understood her.

There was a reason why she did not let me find a job, earn money by myself or go overseas to study. She was afraid. She was so scare that her children going to leave her. She could not let go. I used to be mad at her for not letting me go and make decision own my own. But after thinking about it, I felt bad, I should have known better. She loves me.

Now I know, she told me her feelings which she had kept for years. For example, her heart breaks when she see me working for money. She thinks that I am too young to work and she can still provide me. But when Im older, I still have to work right. Thats what I told her. But she say now Im too young, she dont want to see me working for money because she still can work. But I dont want to be a burden to her, thats the reason I work so I can provide her as well and be more independent.

I guess a mother's love is the strongest love ever in this world and people should know it sooner. But it only made me realise now. After 17 years... How stupid is that.

A kitten just came into our house. I dont know why cats seems to like our house so much. I think this is like the fifth or sixth feline that ever came to our house. But I cant keep it cause May just dont like other cats. So who ever wants to adopt it please tell me. Its a she and she is very cute I must say. Also she is very playful. And she loves shoes.