Well it was one of the questions in our 'N' level paper.But i am not gonna talk about what i wrote in my essay.Instead i want to talk about real mistakes i've done in my life... i guess i just need to let it out someway or another. Please people don't judge me for who i am, i'm still trying to find the real me...

Well many says that we make mistakes and it's part of growing up that's how we learn from it.But some mistakes i've done just disappointed my parents,made myself ashamed to even look at the mirror,made my friends angry and made my teachers worried.

I guess life is just unfair,things always doesn't turn out the way you want it to be.Well me being influence by Hollywood stars and some of the people i met along the way had cause me to made a lot of mistakes in life. Mistakes that i too can't forgive myself.

Well firstly, i was lucky to get a second chance to continue my studies or i won't be in zhenghua secondary school right now, maybe i might already join a gang,start smoking and drinking,i know some of you think i'm not this type of person but i used to be,anyway i was grateful,heaven was beside me i was given a second chance to do well in my studies.What causes me to do this mistakes was due to the fighting happening in my life. That was my first mistake, i don't really want to mention what i did that almost got me kick out of school but that causes my parents to lose their faces.

Secondly, i used to hang out with this friend when i was in lower secondary. She was lesbian and she has a girlfriend. Well hanging out with them was very jollity.Only then i knew that there were these type of people in the world. The great thing about them was they never force you to do what you wish not to. I soon fell out from the group cause i guess i just don't want to spend my time sitting with them while they are brushing against each other,it was unpleasant.So i was soon back to where i was,a normal kid.

Something also happen when i was in lower secondary, i thought i found the right guy, the guy that i thought was a nice person, i guess i was wrong. Being with him was the BIGGEST mistake!He took advantage of what i had and because of him it cost my friendship and my first kiss.....After that day,never did i ever contacted him again.

As i grew, i learned to never made these mistakes again but somehow it's just out of my control. As i reached the next level, new mistakes was coming my way,i just know it.

I met with this group of girls that actually understands me.After few months had past, i've seen the real side of them. I've always taught they were cool, good in their studies and had great friendship, later then i know that they do something that blew me away.One of them did the 0ral "thing" and that all of them smoke. Well me, being at that point of time didn't know how to get out of my plight. As i was desperate to be accepted by people,i did hang out with them and they keep influence me to start smoking. I nearly ruin my life the third time, and i didn't know what that got me thinking it was the wrong thing to do. I was already holding the cigarette in my hand and a lighter in the other but something just stop me...Some feelings that was so strong i just could not avoid. I thought of the feelings of my teachers. At last i gave that 1 stick of cigarette to a friend of mine and i eventually drop out from the group,though i still hang out with them but no longer so close, i respect their decisions and what they want to do with their life, it is just that i don't want to live the same way.

So i did some reflections in my life. The only way i know i can get my life together was the love and care from my teachers of zhenghua. They are the only teachers whom i trust,i respect and honour, whom i cherish for the rest of my life. They are the ones who motivated me to study hard and make right decisions in life. Seeing them is like seeing me in the future, a life of joy and no regrets,a life which has meanings to continue. A perfect life.

As my story is still being written,many ups and down will happen in life,some too painful to even talk about and some to sad to share. As i share the story of my life, how my life is not an amicable one. I know nobody's perfect, people have problems to deal with their own. So i just want to share my story and hoping it would be a happy ending.

Thank you to all the people who red it and i hope you guys won't judge me. I'm still a teenager, a teenager learning from her mistakes.

Well today was our 3 exams papers,chemistry,physics and maths p1. It was easy i guess though i never even studied,lol.Well what a relief that the papers were easy,science i can do without any problem but math got a bit of problems,haha, never mind its over anyway.Well that's one of my relief, the other was to me to tell the boy genius, Reuben that i just don't want to commit to a relationship and by doing that, i told him i was bisexual...it was the only way that he let me off or else he will just keep coming to me..Well the bi thingy, whether its true or not, thats a secret. Well that was another relief,i guess. I learned my lesson, never date any guys till i actually really find the true guy,which is impossible in my complicated life.Well pretty much i just want to stay single for now.
So guys,please back off!

Well tmr is our papers,feeling a bit nervous but i guess there's nothing to worry about it is just N levels. What i have been thinking is the guys that i met online. ok i have this website where we meet people from all over the world. I was actually dating a guy name chris,online relationship but i guess it didn't work out between us..afterwards there is these two guys name Christian and the other is Reuben. Ok lets see, firstly the guy i was dating,Chris, he never been online ever since we started dating.but out of nowhere there is these two guys email me. Both pretty much quite handsome..hehe.. here is their profile tell me what you think about them..
Reuben-boy genius, IQ of 149, has a government monitor him when he travels but all day he just talk about sex and making love,disgusting..he won't leave me alone,saying i am the only girl for him there's no other girl that he will ever fall in love with,hello we just met a few days ago and he can't stop thinking about me..very weird.
He's taking things way to fast..
Christian - A caring friend, likes to skateboard and doing pretty well in school. Doesn't talk about nasty stuff not like Reuben. He enjoys my company and he even gave me his number if i ever needed to talk to him. Told me this "i'd ask you to be my girlfriend but i'm not sure you would want to."But i told him lets just get to know as friends first. He understands me not like other guys.My counsellor so i could tell him my problems and he won't judge me.
So thats my problem...got two guys, one is good manners and respect people, the other just talk about disgusting thing all day long.but if i have to choose either of these guys, 100% i'll choose christian,he's not like other guys i met. but how am i suppose to avoid Reuben??He is freakingly in love with me??Scary...
But anyways, see how it work out as online relationship is definitely hard.

Sorry didn't have the time to post on blog, i guess been very busy playing the internet, ya i said it right i have been using the internet this past few days not studying. I am not even panicking although my exams is this coming monday. i just want to feel the pressure first then i am able to study. Well today night class, i was surprise to see many students actually came back to study.well i was glad to see mrs yeo and mrs oh. they are my best teacher ever. Poor thing mrs yeo send our homeworks to our home and she spent money just by posting our homeworks to our doorstep, but actually she could just give us during the night class. but i guess it was quite cool to receive our homeworks through our post box. well the night class ended so soon and i hardly felt the time passes so quickly at least i have learn something.well better sleep already 2.30am and still awake.Gd night

Well today i decided to bake brownies, i have been cravings for food for these past few weeks. ok so i had all the ingredientsthen suddenly something came up to my mind, i wanted to bake brownies, the exact same one i saw at delifrance. i thought it was easy, actually it were. The ingredients were simple to get and make. it only took me a few minutes, it is just that the baking took most of my time! What a waste of my 40mins when i realise that i didn't turn to the correct degree!. haiz,sad. Ok so the 2nd time i bake was the cake inside with chocolate, it turn out ok but when i tried to take it out, only half of the brownies came out,haha so half brownies + melted chocolate in the middle. It didn't turn out right but still tasted really good. the 3rd time was the brownies muffins exact same ones as the 1st time but what pisses me off was the STUPID oven!. After waited for 45mins, i tried to open the damn oven but was stuck. I could only take it out after another 20 mins when the oven cool down. Then i realise something, i spoil the damn oven.DIE! There was a bend at the side of the oven which cause the oven door not to close properly, i am absolutely sure i am gonna get scolding from my parents, nevermind anyway use to it, can always buy a new one, that thing has been with my family since i was born so can change. OK back to the brownies, the 3rd one that i bake was definitely burned, even my brother and dad was afarid to eat it. ok they always don't eat what i bake that is why i rather bake for my classmates to eat. they are more fun. Well all the brownies i guess i die,die have to eat by myself although it is burned because of the oven.

Well today a wise person told me that
people physically close to you might not be your true friend
but
people who understand you and not really close to you might be your true friend.
Well it is true, but if you do mix and enjoy each other company, it doesn't stop you from being a true friend.Yes true friend must understand you that is the most important thing i think that a true friend should have. Doesn't really matter if he/she close or not close with you. As long as they understand you and enjoy being your friend, that is what true friends are all about. My friends will always be my friends no matter what our differences are or even if we had conflicts, they must know i will always be there for them whenever they need me.

OK today, i was craving for macaroni,
don't know why suddenly kept on thinking about food.
So i decided to cook macaroni for myself but couldn't taste it till the time to break my fast.
But when i tasted 1 macaroni, it was Disgusting,yuck! haha too bad i am a bad cook.
that's all i want to say today,gotta go study got geog remedial tmr. See ya

OK today first period was chemistry and Mr Yap class join our class for lesson since Mr Yap went to invigilate the sec 4T1. So our class who was with Mrs Yeo was doing the paper that she given us yesterday, when i was doing my paper, i was also joking around with kai ying. then don't know after what we talk about then kai ying shouted the word ''teacher'' very loudly then Mrs Yeo look back then kai ying was laughing non stop, i told Mrs Yeo she was crazy then something funny happened. Mrs Yeo said,
"Quack,Quack,Quack",you should have heard it was so funny! I was thinking why all of the sudden she say Quack,Quack,Quack? It is not even related to what we were doing. haha.But Mrs Yeo is a great teacher hopefully i get her again next year and i have been doing pretty well for chemistry ever since she taught me. Thanks Mrs Yeo. You should seriously do the Quack,Quack,Quack sound more often it was really funny.

Today during English lesson, Ms Feng were not in class instead a relief teacher,Ardy came to relief the class. The most shocking news is when he told me that Ms Feng had resign but i didn't believe him so i decided to ask her personally. I was sad when she reply that 1 September was her last day so she left the day before our English paper. I mean she is one of my favorite teachers and she left without us knowing. Sorry Ms Feng for not giving you a proper farewell party. She also sms me and told me to use my time to revise my work for other subjects so if i rephrase it i guess she would meant that she want all our classmates to do well for their 'N' levels!If you are reading this Ms Feng, you must come back during the release of the 'N' level results.We hope to see you there!