I just finished msn with Nara (my friend and Amrik's bestfriend)
Amrik was born with abnormal veins in his head but Amrik did not tell me. He did not want me to be worried about him that's why. But it is worse to find out from your friend that you are actually suffering. I could have been there for you.

Secondly, Nara was like why didn't you came to his funeral. I was like I did but I miss the bus by 1 min because Aliffah and I got huge timing difference and she didnt run. Ya thats y. I so regretted for not being there for you. Nara says that I could have written notes and put in his pocket. I was like really. I should have written something, something about him that I admire.

Thirdly, I also heard it from Nara himself. Amrik's love for me have not change. I should have notice but I did not and I guess it was really too late. He love me but because I said maybe I love someone else, he just said that he love me as my best girl friend. He even gave us his blessing. haha. Nara wrote,"He loves you, he really loves you alot" That made me cry.again. Then Nara said that he would always disturb him saying that,'I and sharizah lah' then Amrik would reply, "No!, sharizah is mine" Haha he was always such a joker to me. I never knew he would kept so much from me just for me to be happy, for me to have what I want.

I lost a friend, my personal haven, my big brother and my loved one that day. I know I should have gotten over it by now. But no one know what he really meant to me. He was more than a friend, more than a relative, he was more than anyone can imagine and when I do not talk about him, I would think that I would have forgotten about him but I do not want that. Thats why I would always write about him no matter where he is now so as I would never forget him and that he would always be remembered in my heart, memory and dreams.