I've done something terrible yesterday. I should have known better. Wished you were here to console me. Only your lame jokes will make me laugh and you listening ear could let me just say out whatever feelings I had. Life without you is hard. Its hard to have a friendship for 11 years and just vanished in the blink of an eye. I just wished to tell you everything. It was a bad mistake. Bad.Bad.Bad. I've just ruin the whole darn thing. I think if you knew, you would have scream at my ear first then you would console me. But whatever the case, I remembered you giving me your blessings. Thank you again.

Give me a sign without i am doing the right thing. Cause right now, im lost. I dont know what path i am choosing. Maybe going back to my old ways... I know you were shock when I first told you about me, what never once you judge me. That I am grateful. Now tell me, what should I do???

You would have said - follow your heart.

My heart??? I dont think I even have one... so cold. so heartless. like concrete...