life to the fullest

i need inspirations!!!

2010-07-30T12:10:00.000+10:00

In Singapore where is the best place to look for inspirations??? I need it really badly. I need to straighten my life out. I will just go crazy if I dont. I want to know what I want to do for the rest of my life. If only there was someone out there to help me figure it out, it would so make my life much easier.

its been 4 weeks since i started school

2010-05-10T17:54:00.000+10:00

Well as stated in the title, time really flies. One thing I could say is Poly was not what I expected. None of us did. Thought it would be so much fun and slack, but it is total opposite. I dont why I cant move from my sec life. I think I am too attached to it. Leaving behind my friends and especially my teachers were the hardest thing that I ever did because I am so close to them. Now in Poly, the lecturers arent even the same as we had in Sec Sch, where our teachers are more jovial to be with. I guess we cant expect much. Life is life.

I dont know whether I am too mature for my age or they are too childish. Its worse than primary school that I experience. They dont listen in class, they irritates the teachers. I thought we only do that in pri and sec sch. They are still doing that in Poly. Lame... I pity the lecturers. But if I scold them, what benefits can i get?? only that they will hate me. And I still need them if we were to do project work. So either way, keeping my mouth shut is the best option.

3 years, thats what I keep telling myself. 3 years.

P.S Mr Wee I miss u so much!!!!

NP

2010-04-13T11:46:00.000+10:00

Was that the best choice I made?? Going to NP?? I never realised that they were all there. Ya right as if I never thought it before choosing it. But now it comes back to drama once again. One have left because he knew what was there all along, wanting me to have some privacy in life. Now I found out another one coming to the same school. Great. Just great. As if my life isnt full of all this anymore. I dont know what to do. Im I the type that attract trouble?? I guess so since, it doesnt give me a break at all.

Well, choosing the right one is tough, and it has made me to be tough,strong, cold person. but to a certain extent. I dont think I would ever be happy in life. Cause I dont know when is that the right choice or not. Like my parents alway says. Life is like a gambling game. You have to gamble to see whether you hit the jackpot or not, It is like a 50-50 chance of winning. I guess so they were right. I will never know if it was ever the right choice, so gotta take the risk.

I will see how it goes in NP, I guess the first day would be tough, But LOTS of fun.

P.S sorry Mr Wee didnt blog about your birthday, had to go off to Malaysia the next morning at 4am that day. and then i totally forgot.hehe.

Leaving behind...

2010-03-12T18:30:00.000+10:00

When I thought things are going to get better. I was wrong. Everytime something good is finally going to happen. Bad things will take over.

How could you keep it quiet until now?? Until I had to find it out from my bff. You already knew what happened when we were in sec sch but cant you just move forward. I guess you did... But I didnt. I may have meant nothing to you. but you were to me. I thought that at least we would still be together always although we are different, never knew that you would leave me just like that.

Guess you have your own passion to persue. But I dont. I dont blame you. Part of you that want to leave was because of me. I know I have been a pain, but you cope with me through all the hardship. but why, Im asking you why. Are you such a coward? Isnt it hard enough not giving me a proper answer? Why dont just give a direct one. You may not miss me but I will. In my heart always.

I know I'm guilty of making you feel envy. For that Im sorry. It was a way for me to get to know that you cared. And you did.

So take care. See you then. Enjoy your life.

my planned route

2010-02-26T18:31:00.000+10:00

I have planned what I am going to do for these few years. What path to choose and everything. It was nice that I came back to school, the teachers were all supportive so are the students when they asked what course I was posted to. Their reactions will be like,"wow thats a great course" or "thats the highest paid course". Haha. Yup I was lucky to get at least the highest paid course in the poly although it was much of interest to me. Now I am waiting for the reply from NP about taking two courses at the same time. They have part time course biomedical tech. Considering about taking that course at the same time though. But Im still wondering what course should I take after poly. Here is the list:

Veterinary bioscience (Queensland University) singapore doesnt have them
Psychology
NIE ??? Teaching??? Still considering. Relief teaching is fun but dont know if I want to do it for the rest of my life.

But pretty much I have planned everything out. My life now, I'm taking control!

after years I finally I understand

2010-02-10T10:39:00.000+10:00

We like to fight over small things. And when one of us are wrong, neither of us want to admit. Our relationship used to be like a roller coaster for this whole 17+ years of my life. We had our ups and downs. And always end up not talking to each other. We would scream at each other for the smallest matter in life. But now, after 17 years I finally understood her.

There was a reason why she did not let me find a job, earn money by myself or go overseas to study. She was afraid. She was so scare that her children going to leave her. She could not let go. I used to be mad at her for not letting me go and make decision own my own. But after thinking about it, I felt bad, I should have known better. She loves me.

Now I know, she told me her feelings which she had kept for years. For example, her heart breaks when she see me working for money. She thinks that I am too young to work and she can still provide me. But when Im older, I still have to work right. Thats what I told her. But she say now Im too young, she dont want to see me working for money because she still can work. But I dont want to be a burden to her, thats the reason I work so I can provide her as well and be more independent.

I guess a mother's love is the strongest love ever in this world and people should know it sooner. But it only made me realise now. After 17 years... How stupid is that.

kitty

2010-02-08T08:50:00.000+10:00

A kitten just came into our house. I dont know why cats seems to like our house so much. I think this is like the fifth or sixth feline that ever came to our house. But I cant keep it cause May just dont like other cats. So who ever wants to adopt it please tell me. Its a she and she is very cute I must say. Also she is very playful. And she loves shoes.

Positive thinking

2010-01-27T13:10:00.000+10:00

Nearly a month of persuasion led to nothing but a waste of time. It was already hard enough that I took the effort to tell my parents the course I wanted will lead to a better future. A course of my dream and a lifetime of happiness. Spend half a day, everyday to calculate my chances in the course until the day before the result i already knew that chance was long gone. I would have expected it coming but I didnt know it would be another heartbreak and another frustration... I didnt have the mood to tell anyone about it. But seems like all are so excited and busybody to know each other results. What can I say, SINGAPOREANS.

When I saw that I was promoted to the course, I just threw my phone at the wall and just hope it was just a dream/ a nightmare. Life was already hard now with my loved one getting cancer, my brother going off and my life which seem like it cannot get any better. Was this a test?? If it was its just really testing my patience and attitude towards it. But so what if it is, at least give me some kind of happiness not regret and anger.

Many were like me today, not getting the course they wanted and even given shocking news. Life is so unpredictable. Sometimes good, sometimes bad. But why cant it always be good. Why cant the outcome make everyone satisfied? This question was long inside my head.

Whatever the case, screw you guys lar!! Those clever ones can get JC. GO AR!! STOP STEALING OUR PLACES!!!
PFFT

facebook

2010-01-21T03:36:00.000+10:00

I had been in facebook lately and I could tell that no one is getting over their results. It was on daily basics people typing on how they regret and could do better, praying hard to be able to get into their courses because they know their chances are very slim. Some even wrote philosphy stuffs everyday just so that people would feel better of themselves. Well, I guess there is really nothing we could do now. I just wished that people would understand those who did average or worse just have not got over it and just listen. They need listening ear and not the other way around. Well for me, I am over it I guess but it was not easy to do because life is hard, at times it suck. Everyone knows that. All we could do now is make wise decision and wait till 27 January and maybe the luck will change.

"When you feel like giving up, remember why you held on for so long in the first place."

For example this quote. Man there was alot of comments on this quote in fb. Erm, first thing that got me thinking. "giving up" and "held on so long in the first place" I just think seriously??. Because I need to express what I feel about it, We want to give up because what we held on for so long just not worth holding it anymore. We once thought that maybe after O level we would all €njoy and live life to the fullest. Everything was going smoothly until the results were out. People were shocked, disappointed, and regret. For those who did great for O thats good for you. Erm... I guess ever since that day, things all change huh. People who so longing want to be a doctor, fashion designer, teacher or accountant just vanished. People goals and dreams were destroyed, making decisions became hard. We all lost our path ever since that day. Now we are like lost lambs who have no clue on where we are heading to.

Yes people say there are options, dont give up. Yes thats true. We have more to look forward to. But the thing is we have to do it the hard way. Either going the long route or, doing the things we dont want to do because we had no other choices because we did not want to give up on the dreams we had held for so long. Well from what I see now, dreams are meant to be given up, the best thing I guess just go for something else if its possible. Something else that you LOVE. Because its gonna be part of you for the rest of your life.

Blah,blah,blah. I keep on going with the quote. I think it was enough already. Well I guess we are all aging up to be young adults. And its time that we make tough decisions. I guess the word "adult" is a scary word for me. For all my life I have enjoy people taking care of me, giving attention and make me feel safe. Now it was time to get out of this barrier and go all out. Life I admit: Suck. Hey maybe thats why we dont live forever ya. Its because we dont enjoy it. Well the only way I say that we could enjoy it is, dont let this setback upset you, give up on things that you could and persue something better in life, enjoy and know that for all these years in your life, there are pretty much something special that came out of all this misery: Friendship, Independent, Love.

So hey enjoy while it lasts cause we only live once right?

Regret

2009-10-24T18:59:00.000+10:00

kenapa??

2009-10-22T15:24:00.000+10:00

Sorry its written in malay.

Mengapa akubegitu bodoh?? Soalan biasaku tidak boleh menjawab? Adakah ini hukuman saya. Adakahku tidak patut melakukannya dengan baik. Aku sudah banyak usaha untuk menyediakan untuk tahap O. Mengapa ini terpaksa menimpaku. Aku memerlukan As itu. Apa cara sekali pun, aku kena dapatkannya. Walaupun jika ia akan membuatku gila.

is it wrong to stress myself??

2009-10-19T16:24:00.000+10:00

Now I am hearing countless of advice not to stress myself from her, but wasn't she the one that wanted me to be clever; to be at the very top. How can I possibly could if she don't give me the opportunity to do what I need. I am not gifted, that I know. So, I am trying my best to be who she wants me to be. To be able to do that. I have to study. Keep on studying. I cant stop. I don't get it, either way she still not satisfy. I am trying my best to please her, to please myself. but she keep changing her mind. I cannot be like him. Cause I am not him. He can play all day but still ace all his exams. But I am stupid, I admitted. But still I put a lot of effort, does she not see that? I may look vulnerable but inside I am made up of concrete. Pretty much I will just go crazy over all this studying. So??? What have I got to lose??? Nothing thats what...

Will I ever be good enough for you??
I guess not...

If I really dont make it through all this, I will say that I GIVE UP. That is IF...

my weekend

2009-10-19T11:41:00.000+10:00

well ever since my bro have back,i have been slacking. i followed him to amk on sat to buy a game. he bought the marvel ultimate smtg i dont remeber which both of us can play. because he wanted me to distress myseklf so ended up we play for quite some time. then how sunday, i followed my dad to ion building to get a new phone. he regretted giving it to me cause it got 8gb.haha too bad. ok i think thats it.bye for now. sorry for lots of geammmatical error cause i typing this through my phone

first time for everything

2009-10-16T22:14:00.000+10:00

After 10 days without my brother, I realised I really need him alot. Although with constant quarreling at home and those fighting, we still miss each other alot. Well, it was his first time going training in the police force at Choa Chu Kang area, luckily it was near our house. When I came home just now, I could not help but laugh loudly until I had to catch my breath. He is bold!! Haha. Never once I saw him without hair. One word - Funny. So I decided to take a photo of him like this as I never had picture of him botak before. My brother very lame, making that serious pose in the photo because I told him he looked very ugly and does not look like the actor Michael Scorfield in prison break. So he gave that pose that usually Michael would do it. Lol.

I had to do his laundry for him. It was fun. First time for me too. Ya ok I am still up now doing the laundry, dont know why it took so long to be washed. Like 2 hour plus already and only the 3rd wash still got his towels to be washed. Well pretty much I am very ''kiasu' so I put LOTS and LOTS of detergent in the clothes because it was rank with sweat. Eek. Ok lol so bad of me to talk about my bro. Haha.

Oh ya finally I knew where my jetstream pen went. My bro took it without me knowing. Clever him. I have been searching every cranny of the room and just recently bought a new one yesterday. Great. So pretty much tomorrow I am helping my brother pack up his things to bring to the camp because both my parents will not be at home and go on a holiday with my cousin and her husband. At last - freedom. Lol. But still I need to do chores. Nevermind I better split it with my brother, I will not let him off so easily. Haa so bad of me.

Like I said no hard feelings

2009-10-06T16:05:00.000+10:00

Yes life is life. No matter what, we go thorough life one way or another. Pretty much the silence would die down, it just takes time. I just need time trying to absorb things thoroughly. My focus is going off, too much things to concentrate on. Dont know which one first. But like you always said, breathe deep and smile. I am just so you know. It is just on the outside, I dont looked so bubbly as before. Sorry for that too. Its not that I dont want to, its just hard. But for your info, it is not your fault. None of it were, so dont think you were to be blame for it. It was mine. Stupid me again. Sorry for the embarrassing situation I have put you in.

Ok today pretty much I breakdown, I dont know for which ever reason that is. I just could not take it. I just could not stay in the class and really needed some fresh air. Luckily my teacher did not come to take attendant today or else she would already see me in this state. Anyway, the guys keep bugging me with this guy Din, I just wished they stop. I have gone through enough. I dont want it to accumulate anymore. I just wished they understand, my life is already hard enough not having my best guy friend to be there pushing me forward. Haiz...

So stop blaming yourself or I will feel more stress about it. Ya I admit it does feel awkward but just so you know we would NEVER just be acquitance we will always be close friends though there is still silence going on.

...

2009-10-05T17:53:00.000+10:00

Amrit, I can move on now. Received an answer yesterday, pretty much I dont feel so empty anymore and got it off my chest. But.. I still wonder what is in store for me. My life, I realised is like a roller coaster. I think I experience the best and the worst of life already which many had yet to go through though some does not need go through the worst like I did. Pretty much I've changed. Tried to change. Either people like or dont like. I've changed. Maybe probably when you were still alive, you would have notice me getting high over lame things and laugh when ever possible, but now its hard to. Cause pretty much certain things I try my hardest to laugh so as not to disappoint them. But deep inside my mind is still in sorrowful thoughts. I dont know what I'm thinking, just that I am not thinking straight. All my classmates have been my moral support, but still, I feel empty. Maybe cause of stress???

But whatever the case, I am still regretful when I talk to my form teacher because she would also try her best to at least say one line to me during parade square but I would just say ar.ohk. Nothing much goes to our conversation which I know she hoped that I would make her laugh or smile at least in the morning which I dont anymore. My mind just hurts alot, due to study but at least the answer have ease part of my burden. I just wished I could looked more bubbly when I talk to her especially as she always wanted me to make her laugh with my so lame jokes. I just hope she is not worry about me and more focus on her own health.

Been studying straight without stopping but still I realised not enough, I cannot stop. Cannot. I even go straight home lately and straight to my past papers. Even though I dont feel strong enough to be able to clear my papers, I just have to do it. My temples have been throbbing the whole time. And every seconds I waste, I keep scolding myself. Stupid me. Life is short. Anyway, typing this already have taken minutes of my life. So now better be back at studying.

Still missing you Amrit, no matter where you are. You will always be in my memories through the thick and thin of my life. I promise I will stop by the crematorium straight after my last paper. Sorry again.

...Amrit... wished you were here...

2009-10-04T20:08:00.000+10:00

I've done something terrible yesterday. I should have known better. Wished you were here to console me. Only your lame jokes will make me laugh and you listening ear could let me just say out whatever feelings I had. Life without you is hard. Its hard to have a friendship for 11 years and just vanished in the blink of an eye. I just wished to tell you everything. It was a bad mistake. Bad.Bad.Bad. I've just ruin the whole darn thing. I think if you knew, you would have scream at my ear first then you would console me. But whatever the case, I remembered you giving me your blessings. Thank you again.

Give me a sign without i am doing the right thing. Cause right now, im lost. I dont know what path i am choosing. Maybe going back to my old ways... I know you were shock when I first told you about me, what never once you judge me. That I am grateful. Now tell me, what should I do???

You would have said - follow your heart.

My heart??? I dont think I even have one... so cold. so heartless. like concrete...

Long time no blog

2009-10-03T20:45:00.000+10:00

Well i'm back to blog. Not much to say. Few weeks to real O level. Prepared a bit just afraid that I will fail.I think I totally stress myself too much. All my classmates says that. Opps. Haiya what to do, my memory is like a donkey. So deng. And me trying to push all the subjects into one tiny brain. Impossible. So now I am back to late night studying just to catch up with my work. Better not waste more time and start to study. Bye for now.

Today shes happy so am I

2009-09-17T20:13:00.000+10:00

It was so hard to see her smiling and laughing anymore nowadays. Cause she always seemed so moody during lesson time. But today she was completely different. I like her today.lol I still like in whatever mood she is in. Well I noticed that she doesnt like to teach with the whole students in the class she will seem very sad and dont feel like teaching but when it was narrowed down to only those taking O level she seemed cheerful and happy go lucky like how I used to know her. Btw the practical today was fun. Ya right. I hate practical but then cause got her I have patient doing it.

She would come to me and asked how I was doing then I told her, I hate this experiment I do it 3 times and I was one of the last one to finish the practical. Then I told her what if my readings not correct then she was like nevermind only minus 1 mark for it. Then I was like 1 mark, 1 mark is alot. Then she was like I know you want get it all perfect right. Then I nodded. Then she laughed. Then when I was about to go to the desk to give her my ws she was like,"How perfectionist can do??" Then I was lol can. But 1 second later she called and told me my graph totally wrong. I was like what the fish must redo again. I dont like when I keep doing wrong things!!! Then I redo and return to her.

Then that Zuhairi was beside her and I returned her the ws smiling. Then he was like dont give me that face. I was like lol. My problem i know I cute.haha. The best think was she supported me. Haha thanks to her. I win him.lol. She is so great today I wished she was like that everyday.

Hmmm, I wonder, is she??? I dont know but I think the signs are obvious?? Or I am just bad at guessing but I think she would have told me if she were. Anyways I like her alot.

New English Essay

2009-09-08T19:42:00.000+10:00

Mr Wee, if you have the time please check. I wrote a new essay on the title "music".

The lemon orchard

2009-09-05T20:02:00.000+10:00

What I have learnt from the creative writing is multi-sensory approach. All the 5 senses- touch, hearing, smell, sight and not sure the last one sorry. Thoughts and Feelings. Details. Details.Details!

sense of sight:

silhouette of the man
beam of battery lamp on his face
eyes were hard and blue like two frozen lakes
white light touch the leaves with wet silver
gleamed with the quivering shine of scattered quicksilver
moon was hidden behind long,high parallels of cloud which hung like suspended streamers of dirty cotton wool in the sky.
shoes sank into he soil and left exact,ridged foot prints,
down the avenues of trees
face as invisible except for a blur of shadowed hollows and lighter crags
stared ahead into a half-light

sense of hearing:

the night close around was quiet now
monotonous creek-creek-creek
cricket stop their small noises
brarking in short high yaps
leaves rustled with a harsh wispering
solid strip of high pitch sound
small noises
laces click as he move
small metallic noise

sense of touch:

a chill in the air
the coolness of the night
night and earth was cold and damp
warmly dressed
pressing it hard
shivered now with chill

sense of smell:

sharp,bitter-sweet citrus smell hung gently on the night air
called softly
pleasent sense of lemons
perfume of lemons seem to grow stronger
fragrant growth

other details:

small bicycle lantern that work from a battery
stopped abruptly
wore khaki trousers and laced -up riding boots,and an old shooting jacket with leather patcheson the right breast and the elbows
clenching his teeth to prevent from chattering
flanked him
Darkness demanded silence
The night and earth was cold and damp
Tiny wrinkled and deep creases which covered the red-clay complexion of his face like the myriad lines which indicate rivers,streams,roads and railways on a map.

high value words:

Abruptly - suddenly

Jeered - said in a rude manner.

Half-light - not too bright

corduroyed leg - wear jeans

Chuckle - said with some laughter.
Audacity - guts
Uncivilized - rude

Minister of church - priest

Blur of shadowed hollows and lighter crags - wrinkles.

special day coming

2009-08-28T18:14:00.000+10:00

Since teachers' day is coming soon. I thought maybe I should post what qualities teachers have. That I wished I will develop in the near future.

Positive - Thinks positively and enthusiastically about people and what they are capable of becoming. Sees the good in any situation and can move forward to make the most of difficult situations when confronted with obstacles. Encourages others to also be positive.

Communicative - Shares with others in a manner that encourages effective two-way communication. Communicates personal thoughts and feelings on a wide spectrum of issues and can listen to students in an empathetic manner, assuring each that conversations will be held in confidence.

Dependable - Honest and authentic in working with others. Consistently lives up to commitments to students and others. Works with them in an open, honest, and forthright manner.

Personable - Establishes and maintains positive mutual working relationships. Likes to be with others. Has many ways of getting to know students as persons while building trust and appreciation through personal interaction and involvement.

Organized - Makes efficient use of time and moves in a planned and systematic direction. Knows where he or she is heading and is able to help students in their own organization and planning. Can think in terms of how organization can be beneficial to those served.

Committed - Demonstrates commitment to students and the profession and is self-confident, poised and personally in control of situations. Has a healthy self-image. Encourages students to look at themselves in a positive manner, careful to honor the self-respect of the students, while encouraging them to develop a positive self-concept.

Motivational - Enthusiastic with standards and expectations for students and self. Understands the intrinsic motivations of individuals, and knows what it is that motivates students. Takes action in constructive ways.

Compassionate - Caring, empathetic and able to respond to people at a feeling level. Open with personal thoughts and feelings, encouraging others to do likewise. Knows and understands the feelings of students.

Flexible - Willing to alter plans and directions in a manner which assists people in moving toward their goals. Seeks to reason out situations with students and staff in a manner that allows all people to move forward in a positive direction.

Individually Perceptive - Sees each student as a unique and valuable individual. Looks for the differences among students. Quickly diagnoses student difficulties and assists in the management of individual situations.

Value Based - Focuses upon the worth and dignity of human beings. Is sensitive to community values. Strives to work in an environment consistent with his or her belief system. Recognizes the importance and power of modeling constructive behavior.

Knowledgeable - Is in a constant quest for knowledge. Keeps up in his or her specialty areas, and has the insight to integrate new knowledge. Takes knowledge and translates it to students in a way which is comprehensible to them, yet retains its originality.

Creative - Versatile, innovative, and open to new ideas. Strives to incorporate techniques and activities that enable students to have unique and meaningful new growth experiences.

Patient - Is deliberate in coming to conclusions. Strives to look at all aspects of the situation and remains highly fair and objective under most difficult circumstances. Believes that problems can be resolved if enough input and attention is given by people who are affected.

Sense of Humor - Knows how to take the tension out of tight situations. Uses humor, spontaneously, in a tasteful manner. Builds togetherness in the classroom, through the use of humor.

Those in italic are the qualities I think that are important in teachers. Without it, no respect gain, no knowledge can be learn. I would like to say Mr Wee is one of the example that have all the qualities stated here. He is the teacher that I find most passionate in his teaching, have great sense of humour and also very patient. Happy teacher's day Mr Wee! You are the best English cher any students can get. And I mean it.

my results

2009-08-22T10:38:00.000+10:00

I told my mum about my results today. Not that I wanted to but she asked might as well just tell her. She ask what did I get then I said some fail. Then she was like your brother never fail before. Then I was like thats him, Im me. Then she asked what subject do I think I fail. Confirm Math. Then she was like I thought your math must be as good as your brother. Then I was like how can if my that one no good. Then she ask my malay confirm fail right. Then I said no I got C6. Then she as like wow you pass. All the people around me the reaction is the same.lol. Then I told here this one is my O level result and I ask whether I should retake or not. Then she say up to me but she say no since I got other subjects to concentrate on and she scare later I take again I will fail. So now my final decision is....

Dont retake!

Amrit's 2nd poem

2009-08-21T20:06:00.000+10:00

You are like sunshine so warm,
You are like sugar so sweet
You are like you
and that's the reason why I like you

--> It was the reason why our friendship was so strong

Hey Amrit, I receive msg from that freak again. He have not known that you had passed away and I think it is best that I dont tell him. He threaten to find us tmr and chop you if you interfere but how?? You are no longer here and he is insane. Why arent you here to help me, to protect me?? You were always there when I need you no matter how busy you were, you would drop everything down and came to my rescue. No other guy would do that for me. Only you. I wished you were here to help. My life is so empty without you, now Nara is like replacing you becoming the second Amrit, he doesnt want me to be miserable now that your passing have gone. Now he wants to be there for me like you did for me. But it would not be the same. I just wished he went back boys home and never come back. If he just drop dead one day also its not my problem but how could it happened to you instead of him?? Life is so unfair. Good people dies earlier why the bad people lives longer. How can this world be at peace at this rate??? Now I questioning myself.

Reveal shocking news

2009-08-19T18:44:00.000+10:00

I just finished msn with Nara (my friend and Amrik's bestfriend)
Amrik was born with abnormal veins in his head but Amrik did not tell me. He did not want me to be worried about him that's why. But it is worse to find out from your friend that you are actually suffering. I could have been there for you.

Secondly, Nara was like why didn't you came to his funeral. I was like I did but I miss the bus by 1 min because Aliffah and I got huge timing difference and she didnt run. Ya thats y. I so regretted for not being there for you. Nara says that I could have written notes and put in his pocket. I was like really. I should have written something, something about him that I admire.

Thirdly, I also heard it from Nara himself. Amrik's love for me have not change. I should have notice but I did not and I guess it was really too late. He love me but because I said maybe I love someone else, he just said that he love me as my best girl friend. He even gave us his blessing. haha. Nara wrote,"He loves you, he really loves you alot" That made me cry.again. Then Nara said that he would always disturb him saying that,'I and sharizah lah' then Amrik would reply, "No!, sharizah is mine" Haha he was always such a joker to me. I never knew he would kept so much from me just for me to be happy, for me to have what I want.

I lost a friend, my personal haven, my big brother and my loved one that day. I know I should have gotten over it by now. But no one know what he really meant to me. He was more than a friend, more than a relative, he was more than anyone can imagine and when I do not talk about him, I would think that I would have forgotten about him but I do not want that. Thats why I would always write about him no matter where he is now so as I would never forget him and that he would always be remembered in my heart, memory and dreams.

Amrit's 1st poem

2009-08-19T16:10:00.000+10:00

You must be a good runner because you are
always running in my mind, you must be a good thief because you have
stolen my heart, and I am always a bad shooter
because I Miss You Always...

--> This was when we first meet again after 8 years.

This is the third day without Amrit and I started to miss him already. All his annoying messages that he used to send because of his nothingness, concern and curiousness which I always reply back. Today I got back my mt result. I was so glad that I passed!! Though it is C6. I am darn happy. My MT teachers were too. Too bad I cannot share this with you, Amrit. You would have congrats me and we would have already gone to Swesens to eat or something- Your treat (you promise. hehe). Anyway she also became so nice today out of the blue. I think she was glad that she no longer need to teach student like me anymore. Haha just kidding. Anyway I kept on reading your last words during lesson time and you are right, I would just fill it with remembered joy - joy that I had spent time with you. And sorry that I miss your bus yesterday, cause Aliffah your bestfriend didnt walk fast enough. haha. Fatin sends her regards. Though all this typing you cannot see. But I know that you will.

This was the last thing that he left before hes gone

2009-08-18T16:14:00.000+10:00

Don't grieve for me,
for now I'm free
I'm following the path
God laid for me.
I took His hand when
I heard His call
I turned my back and left it all.
I could not stay another day......,
to laugh, to love, to work or pray.
Tasks left undone
must stay that way,
I found that peace at
the close of day.
If my parting has left a void,
Then fill it with remembered joy.
Perhaps my time has
seemed all too brief,
Don't lenghten it now
with undue grief.
Lift up your hearts,
and share with me
God wanted me now,
He set me Free.

Life is so precious

2009-08-17T17:51:00.001+10:00

I got a msg from his uncle this morning saying that Amrit Singh Riar had just passed away. I could not believe it. I did not believe that he was gone I thought it was just a terrible joke. I got Ky to call his uncle to find out. The uncle says that he collapse and the veins in his brain burst. I could not stop crying afterwards...Now my tears still could not stop flowing...

He was my tanglin primary school classmate and we met in primary one and became best friends ever since. He would do anything for me just to keep me save from a freako. He even confess his love to me and I took it like it was a joke. But this year when I found him again in friendster he confess that he love me but now as my best girl friend. Haha. I know he would not like to see me crying when he was alive so I think it is best I control my tears for him. But his sudden death just stunned me.

He was always there when I need him even this year when I reunite with him in friendster. We spend that one month June holiday to get to know each other. How we change and everything else. We planned so much and this much could no longer be achieve.

He was there when I cry because I did badly for my exams, he was there when I quarrel with my parents, he was there when I wished that I rather not be "here",he was there when I feel so sorry for myself, he was there when I needed someone, he was there to protect me from that freako, he was there to listen to me instead of me listening to him. He was there for me for everything. No guy friend could ever be as great as him and we never once quarrel and he is the only one who protected me from all the choatic things that happened in my life. He was the only one that I feel save to be with.

We planned so much. He wanted to go Canada to study after finishing his ITE course. He wanted to treat me out to whatever place I wanted to go cause he lost to a bet about "how well do you know me?," He was going to get me a gift from Canada especially for me for being his best girl friend. And we even planned to meet this friday to catch up on things. He was so excited and nervous as it has been 8 years since we last met and now I could not even see him for the last time. He even promise to pick me up during teachers day and we go together. I know he is a tough guy, friendly and great when you get to know him well enough.

I was the last person he msg and I didnt reply him. I feel so darn stupid! Because he asked what I was doing and I replied playing the piano and then he replied saying "Hahaha...Really? Cool!" That was the last msg that he send at 11pm and I did not reply.. Why?? Why I so stupid not to have reply, maybe if I did he would have talk to me longer and he wouldnt have collapse and burst his veins in the brain and he would have been alive today - Chatting and messaging me. Its all my fault.

Though I have kept all your messages that makes me laugh, cheerful and happy and I will post them one by one this whole week just to remember you. Hope that you leave in peace. I will remember you always and no one can be as great as you!I wished you were still here with me and we could have spent the whole day just chatting, reminding ourselves about all the silly jokes that you told me. I wished I had spent more time with you but that time have shorten.

I want to remember you like you in the photos. So happy and smiley. That way it would make me motivate and look forward to the upcoming terror of lives.

Prelims are over

2009-08-14T18:53:00.000+10:00

Yeah.. Can celebrate. Ya right. This is just prelims not O level. But still need a break right. So most probably going out tmr to relax. Ok I feel a bit guilty going out just because finish prelims. And Singapore is so boring there is no place fun to go to. Got suggestion?? Anyways, I was thinking that maybe I could just sit at home do nothing. But then later my mum will nag here and there. totally no peace. At laptop wrong. Studying wrong. Everything wrong. Haiz... what to do parent (not parents).....

And erm... long time I have not update on my cat, May. Well she's doing well. Now she moved back to my room to sleep. And great her fur are making me sick and my whole table are full of it even on my homeworks. And 100% not safe to put my food on that table. She seemed so cute. Everytime I see her sleep which is like every hour till night time. She always dream of things I dont know what Im not a cat but anyway, she is just so cute. She is the most trusted person to share everything cause she cant tell others. Haha. Ok im bad. Ya she is fine but keeps on vomitting on my desk and floor every morning, I think cause my brother gave her the wet food instead of biscuit...

Now I just have to be more cautious of my whereabouts to be safe. but I rather stay at home or school and not go out anywhere. Anyway the weather is killing me. Im burning. What are they gonna do about the global warming. I dont see any effort. I wish I could do my part. But how?? I dont want those like small parts switching the electricity when not using. I want play a big part in helping to save the environment.

Just watch finished few days ago

2009-08-13T18:46:00.000+10:00

The show was so romantic. At last it was an happy ending. The guy very stupid after he lost the baby then he realised he love the girl. Anyway they are fated to love each other. No matter where they are they will always bump each other. Is this what they call fate?? Maybe....

They dance so nice. I wished we have prom night. It would be so great to commemorate our last year in this school. Wow the guy seem so perfect but he is not but ya who is perfect in this world anyway.

Haiz... All I think about is love nowadays, I think cause of my friends' influence. Haha. What to do as long they are happy I am too. Omg they two so romantic...Totally gonna watch the show again. Fated to love you. Ya fate... I wish that happen to me too. Haha just kidding.

Goals

2009-08-12T15:50:00.000+10:00

wow. Just looking at the word scares me. I have no motivationg at all to study until O level. my mother tounge results are also coming out soon. And I screw up my prelims. Thought I could do well and get the scholarship. Haiz people just don't understand what Im going through at all. Its not the same as others. I don't have the support of my family, the knowledge to move up further and the discipline to keep myself well motivated.

I surf through all the channels recently, they are like totally against me. It was all about goals, goal in career, in losing weight and also goals in studies. Why??? I used to have my goal but I think I would never reach it no matter how hard I try. And my goal also is not supported by my dad and my uncles and aunt. What they expect. I love animals and I want to help them. Haiz...just because I need to touch dogs they are against it...

Prelim,prelim just thinking about it made me mad. Anyway there is just lack of motivation, no one is motivated enough to do well including the class. What should we do?? What is there to do to make us more motivated?

How about me?? I am not like some people who can just let it go and happy go lucky. Im not. I will keep asking why. I want regain my confidence, but I dont know how. Seriously advice doesnt help at all. I need to do something. Something that I love to do and never regret. But how?? That is the question left to be answered.

Maybe if there was one and only, I could somehow reduce my burden. But is it fate?? What is fate anyway? Was I fated to meet someone like him. but what if.. I don't know... What if it will just break my heart. Maybe he could help maybe he knows what I am going through. I need that someone who can just listen to me and not get bored. Just to be there and listen. But what do I take him for if I am like that?? I wish there was a Cun Xi around and I am Chen Xin Yi.

being stalk

2009-08-05T18:17:00.000+10:00

Omg. I cannot believe that my nightmare is coming back. He is back. Hopes he don't find me here. Singapore is sosmall he might just come here and find me. I am scared. Luckily got my guy friend to protect me. But 1 against many??? Confirm cant win. So now I am totally getting rid of my account details. Like where I live, my school. I just hopes he dont bug me. I dont want anyone to get hurt. Damn, I so stupid to give my phone details. I wish he just leave it in the past. I mean we were like 7 years old back then?? What is the use chasing me now. It has been like 9 years past, forget it. I have move on. Just don't hurt my friends. Especially him. I am in luck since my guy friend will also protect him. But then he didn't know his name. That is a relief.

Anyway, if he doesn't ask me by the O level results next year, well I think I should just give up. No point of waiting for someone who doesnt feel the same way. Anyway he deserves better.

heartless

2009-07-30T16:50:00.000+10:00

How could you be so heartless?

Not thinking about our feeling

Though as much as we want

To have our way

But we dont want to be

just like you

You have to remember

We are the one whom you are left with

No one to be there

anymore

How could you do this

to us

again

I dont

get it

ooh anymore

Just forget it

And go find him

Cause we are not going to be there.

Heartless

everyday...

2009-07-21T17:19:00.000+10:00

Everytime I see you, it makes my heart hurts so badly that I just cant hold my emotional. I cannot see your face and not holding my tears back. That is why everyday I avoid you, it was not your fault. I just cannot see you. Everytime I do, it hurts you badly as well. I tried to stand up, I tried to defend you but I could not. I am just too weak, too afarid. Was it my fault? Though I tried to be on my best behaviour during your lesson but it was not enough.

As the day passes by, the smile, laughter and happiness just disappear from your face. I just wish you were who you were back then so happy and cheerful and always teasing around. But that side of you vanished and I feel like it was my fault.

So please don't think of me avoiding you is because I don't like you anymore. I still do. You are the best ever that happened to my life. I just cannot bear to look at your expressions. So sad, so angry and feeling so helpless. Please know that I would always be there to cheer you up but now I just could not because I don't how to make you happy like whom you use to be.

I hope your father in law gets well soon. You already have so much things to handle. But all we do is complaint. We never appreciate you for all that you have done. You tried to make everyone satisfied but it just backfires at you. I'm sorry. Please know that I did appreciate you very much from the beginning that is why I am just too lazy to make anymore suggestions as it is just not the best idea anymore.

I'm going to go berserk

2009-07-19T20:27:00.000+10:00

I get so angry nowadays for no reasons. is it because of hormones kicking in?? Or the hot and humid weather? Or maybe the stresses that I finally felt. That was one thing I am sure about.

The class, the homeworks, the presentation and other compiled work that just really making me mad. Haiz. Finally listening comprehension are coming soon. Can forget about mt classes after this and also trying to get rid of my nerve for tmr presentation. Really waste of time...

How foolish I am

2009-07-18T22:35:00.000+10:00

I can't believe I watch HP and the half-blood prince without watching HP and the order of the phoenix. No wonder I don't get it. Lol. Ok now I finally understand the show but too bad they seriously miss out lots of details in the movie. Well I cant always expect great shows can I? Ya must watch the right movies. lol.

Anyway, time seems to fly by pass me in a blink of an eye. Though I tried my best to manage my time well, I still get left behind. Even my english grades are going down and my math going up. What is the matter with me? One subject goes up, the other down. Seriously gotta balance it well.

Well I still think that there was no point taking O. Opps this was what I had been thinking since coming back to Zhenghua again. It has always been. But anyway, it was my last lap, and no other choice. I chose to do this with no help what so ever and I got to do it well. Or else I am such a disgrace to them. So I always tell myself...

No choice. Life is unfair. Make it your best. Enjoy it while you can.

I'm so happy today. Happy bdae Mr Lim!

2009-07-15T13:33:00.000+10:00

Today I was very happy though I have really bad cramps which I can't stand. I am just going to rest today. I given Mr Lim his bdae present though his bdae is on the 21 July. Hehe. I think the whole school knows I like him.lol. Even my physic teacher. blush**. Well I am just glad I got a chance to see him today cause I hardly saw him around. Oh ya Mr Wee if you are reading this please tell Mr Lim not to eat any of the items. Cause it is made out of clay. Thanks.

so sudden

2009-07-12T09:24:00.000+10:00

I was lying on my bed today, thinking. Thinking hard. Why do I have a sudden feeling? Was it really what I thought it is? What if I am wrong? There is no turning back. But does e feels the same way? Maybe part of me e still could not accept. My past, present and future. But what if it was a mistake? But it could be the greatest mistake I have ever made yet. No, we are way different, very different. I do not know what to think anymore. What if it were to fraught with problems afterwards... why do I have to think so much. maybe i am just crying out for that one special thing to mend my hole in the heart. Which one and only could do that.

update finally

2009-07-10T23:24:00.000+10:00

Someone told me to update. He was so bored cause no one updated here except for him. Lol. Zuhairi here you go, an update from me.

Nothing much, just that the mt oral finally over. Thank god. At least no need worry anymore just left listening comprehension.

I wished I had a time capsule - a container that is filled with objects from a particular time, so that people in the future will know what life was like then. If only I could go back, maybe a few years back to fix things so that maybe I would not have so many problems now.

Well what to do? I'm already in the year 2009 and getting older everyday. There is no point looking back, looking back at all the memories of my past. But maybe, just maybe... i could for once?

was it?

2009-06-19T01:00:00.000+10:00

What am I thinking when I said that? Was it the right thing to do? If it was why don't I feel that way. All the emotions of fears and sadness just shows. Seriously, I don't know if I should go down that path again. The path which scares me too death. Well I think it is just not worth it anymore. Destroying it. Destroying me.

its been a long time

2009-06-08T14:13:00.000+10:00

Well i think it has been 1 month since my last post. I realised i al my blogs are shortage of 1 thing. pictures. Well i will try update more with pictures.

Anyway, i have been surfing Ms Feng blog. I noticed there was a side of her which I don't even know. I always thought her life was so perfect. But actually no. She have her insecurity, fears just like any of us. It is just that she never shares it.

Well anyway, i want to start posting blogs on a new prespective. This time about all the joys in my life that made me happy, the struggles I face. And the obstacles which I will overcome.

Like what Mr Wee says: "seize the day"

Went to Ben and Jerry

2009-05-14T19:48:00.000+10:00

Finally we finished all our papers! Can relax a bit. So we, jac,ky and me decided that we should go ben and jerry to eat since other days we have something else to do. So we went at 3 plus p.m. Then took 190 till douby gaut mrt. So we walked around and lost! So we went Daiso first. We bought alot of things though I did not.

Then afterwards we were trying to find our way to cathay and stumble on Ms Feng! Yeah! She looked thinner. Then we chit chat for a while. Talk about our exams, how is our life, what she work and everything. I miss her so much!

Ok so afterwards we went ben and jerry. I shared the ice cream with Jac since it is so expensive. Then went to bangkit, pasar malam. Walk around and went home.

On the way home Ky's bag stuck on the lrt door. Haha so funny. Luckily the door is strong. Oh ya too bad we did not really took a lot of photos though cause we we enjoying ourselves.

Mixed high value words

2009-04-05T13:05:00.000+10:00

I want know

What makes

This sentiment goes away

But can’t you

sense the way as I do

depart me now

I desire to be free

pursue now or eternally lose me

Though longing I want to be

I will for no reason get the chance

To convey myself

To your gratitude

I’m sorry

But I’m leaving

For good

And never to appear back

Just walk off

I discern

What is like to you

Don’t go

Don’t leave

I know what its like

Please understand

I will never overlook

What you were to me.

Just mixing all my high value words into sentences. It tells a story though,it was inspired by a book

It has been a long time since I last posted.

2009-04-01T17:33:00.000+10:00

Sorry for not posting for quite sometime... Been quite busy lately with schoolwork. Well everytime I type on my blog, in the end I click the 'back' button since I have nothing much to say or update.

Well firstly, thanks everyone for all your wishes and gifts and the upcoming "treat" to pizza hut. Really looking forward to it. I appreciate it a lot. And thanks Mrs Oh for the chocolate. I still had no idea how she knew my birthday. So touched.

Secondly, the trip to Hua Yi Sec was great. I had such a good experience there seeing the teachers on how they learned. Well I realised they are human like us too. Never pay attention. Haha. Thank you Mr Wee for the treat at Swesen. Your wife is so down to earth. So fun.

Well anyway today was great but haiz so sad, they took our ez-link to replace new ones. I put such a nice photo of Wentworth Miller on my ez-link and did not get a chance to take it off. So anyway, I don't care and can buy new one as now Twilight characters are more popular.

Also today, all my predictions came true. Wow. First I predict that after Fitri group will be ours. And really came true. The other one is that we are chosen to be the "experts" for social studies. And really it was our group. My mates was like shocked that all I said today came true. Wow I seriously got magic powers. Lol.

So ok, today went to Art club. Finally I knew why Miss Wee have been looking so sad lately. Erm.. better keep it to myself though. But I felt glad for her. So anyway, I got to know the new teacher better today, I don't know her name though but I was like chatting with for quite a long time. And I loved making my teachers laugh. Haha. Best days of my life.

Today is also weird, everywhere I go, everyone is like smiling. Maybe it is just me?? But anyway. Everyone seem so happy. Because when I smile at strangers, all returned me with a huge smile back at me. I felt so satisfied. Not just one but a lot.

At the bakery shop, one of the worker, at the spec. shop, i make the owner laughed with my silly jokes. Then at fajar, I walked past a lady and she smiled at me. At the bubble tea shop, the owner also smiled. Then I walked back, one student smiled. Even at the lift, the woman smiled at me. So weird. And a lot, totally lost count.

So anyway that is it for today. Luckily all our presentation are done so there is nothing more to worry about.

Power point slides

2009-03-29T09:43:00.000+10:00

Bothersome

2009-03-25T11:48:00.000+10:00

I must say, presentation is very wearisome as we have to spend time doing it. And we are very busy this year and adding on to our tie schedule is presentation. I know it will do us good and we have to learn to face our fears but doing it now when it is coming nearer to our exams does not help at all.

Sorry Mr Wee, but I prefer hearing to you talking instead of our own classmates as I don't get what they present. And also you are more experience in teaching compared to others.

Well, what other choices do I have? Have to do it anyway. My whole weekend gone in a flash...

Finally a much better poem

2009-03-16T11:30:00.000+10:00

I wander all night in my vision,

Bending with open eyes over the shut eyes of sleepers,

Wandering and confused, lost to myself,

Ill-assorted. Contradictory,

Pausing, gazing, bending and stopping.

Looking back to what it seemed to be a tragic event

the embers left from earlier fires,

shall duly flame again

In times of grief and sorrow

How hard it may seem

To hold back the floods of tears and despair

and make it through the potholed streets of life.

The vision of you

had become clearly.

The only sound that can be heard

are the whispers of your voice.

The smooth, soft sound that keep me at ease.

Collide with the sound of the rain falling down from the sky

The cold breeze touches my skin

Making me shiver uncontrollably

How I wish you would come back to me.

The never ending

Mayhem of life

The last touch

Never to feel you again

All I wanted was

To close my eyes

For eternity

But

With splendid dawn, your face aglow

I reach for you and find my heart

Never to ever give up

Just stand up

Well got my inspiration from the book called "the notebook". Some words are extracted from the book but others are created by me. Hope you like it.

Just stand up

2009-03-14T16:26:00.000+10:00

Beyoncé:
The heart is stronger
Than you think
It's like it can go
Through anything
And even when you think
It can't it finds a way
To still push on
Though

Carrie Underwood:
Sometimes
You want to run away
Ain't got the patience
For the pain
And if you
Don't believe it
Look into
Your heart
The beat goes on

Rihanna:
I'm tellin' you that

Rihanna/Miley Cyrus:
Things get better
Through whatever

Rihanna:
If you fall
Dust it off
Don't let up

Sheryl Crow:
Don't you know
You can go
Be your own miracle

Beyoncé:
You need to know

Refrão (Sheryl Crow):
If the mind
Keeps thinking
You've had enough
But the heart
Keeps telling you
Don't give up

Sheryl Crow/Beyoncé:
Who are we to be
Questioning
Wondering what is what
Don't give up
Through it all
Just stand up

Fergie:
It's like
We all have better days
Problems getting all up
In your face

Leona Lewis:
Just because
You go through it

Fergie:
Don't mean it got
To take control, no

Leona Lewis:
You ain't gotta find
No hiding place

Keyshia Cole:
Because the heart
Can beat the hate

Leona Lewis:
Don't wanna
Let your mind
Keep playin' you

Keyshia Cole:
And sayin' you
Can't go on

Rihanna:
I'm tellin' you that

Miley Cyrus:
Things get better
Through whatever

Rihanna:
If you fall

Miley Cyrus:
Dust if off
Don't let up

LeAnn Rimes:
Don't you know you

Natasha Bedingfield:
Can go

LeAnn Rimes:
Be your own

Natasha Bedingfield:
Miracle

Carrie Underwood:
You need to know

(Refrão-Todas)

Mary J. Blige:
You don't gotta be
A prisoner
In your mind

Ciara:
If you fall
Dust it off

Mary J. Blige:
You can live your life

Rihanna/Carrie Underwood:
Yeah

Mary J. Blige:
Let your heart
Be your guide

Rihanna/Carrie:
Yeah, yeah, yeah

Mariah Carey:
And you will know
That you're good
If you trust in the good

Ashanti:
Everything
Will be alright, yeah
Light up the dark
If you follow your heart

Mary J. Blige:
And it will get better

Mariah Carey:
Through whatever

(Refrão-Todas)

Fergie:
You got it in you
Find it within
You got in now
Find it within now
You got in you
Find it within
You got in now
Find it within now
You got in you
Ffind it within
Find it within you
Find it within

Well this is one of the song that Ms Natalie let us hear. It was very meaningful as it really relates to stressful students like us. It tells us never to give up and keep on carry on. I have so much to learn from everyone. Well happy holidays! And Ms Natalie, you have been such a great help to the class. Thank you.

Compliments

2009-03-11T18:07:00.000+10:00

Compliment is an expression of praise, commendation or admiration. Well I have been receiving a lot of compliment lately on my english. I don't why but maybe it is due to my speaking. Like today when I saw Mr Sng at the canteen area lining up at the Malay stall to buy Mee Rebus

My friend and I: Hi Mr Sng!

Mr Sng: Hello how are you? Erm.. why are you standing behind me?

Me: Erm... because you are in front of me?

He laughed. Mr Sng: Hmm.. ok. Your english have improved remarkably.

Me: hehe thanks because I speak only elegantly. you know.

We all laughed. It was so funny. Then I saw that there was no more Mee Rebus.

Me: Mr Sng how could you? You took the last one. I wanted to eat.

Mr Sng: The aunty give me the last one because you know why? I am handsome.

I was like lol. Very funny. It is so funny. The weird thing is he put sambal in his Mee Rebus. I thought we should put it for nuggets only.

Then afterwards I said, " Enjoy your food"

Mr Sng: Ok thanks you too.

Well I also received compliment from Mr Ranjit on my english. We were at our usual study place when he approached us.

Mr Ranjit: Hmm. Very hardworking students. Study hard ok.

Me: Of course we will. We have to because I want to be a Veterinarian.

Mr Ranjit: Erm... Are you Malay??

Me: Ya why??

Mr Ranjit: No it is just that the way you speak English is very different from the rest that I have known.

Me: huh really? In what way?

Mr Ranjit: You speak English very well. Standard English. very good.

Me: Erm thanks.

Afterwards we chatted for about two hours and he got to know us quite well.

I guess. I seriously like the teachers here. They are great and so easy to talk to. And also compliments from my teachers really motivate me to study hard because I know that I study not only for myself but also for my teachers as I want them to be proud of me. And by the way, the way I speak English is the way it is. I guess I am used to speaking English with a little accent but not a heavy one because due to too many hollywood shows. Haha.

My Vet tech dreams..

2009-03-10T19:40:00.000+10:00

well just now we had the education fair talk which schools from different poly and JC coming to persuade us to enter their school. Well I am only aiming for one poly right now and that is TP. Because TP has the course that I wanted so badly which is Veterinary Technology.

A guy spoke to me and told me more about the course so that I will understand better. The most shocking thing is that now the cut off point for my course has drop. AGAIN. Oh man last year was 10 and now 8. How can they do this? I want that course badly. And some more it does that follow the L1 R4 but instead L1 R5. So I have to score well for ALL my subjects including MT. Haiz my dreams...scattered....

Even if I don't get into Vet Tech, I only want to get into science related course like psychology and biomedical science but these courses is also 10 points. Why?? It is so hard to get in.

Haiz... what am I going to do..... Even if I study until I lose all of hair it is hard for me to get into Vet Tech as only TP provide this course and it is impossible for me to get below 10 points. It is too late for me to start now.

Wedding yesterday

2009-03-09T15:12:00.000+10:00

Well I went for my cousin's wedding yesterday. It went terribly. My mum kept on crying every few seconds, for all sort of reasons. Well I better not tell you so much details. I could see that all my cousins have grown up. I had never seen them for years now, it was nice of them to invite us to the wedding. Well my another cousin is getting married next year and the fiance is so handsome, he is chinese too! OMG. So good.

Well, blah,blah, blah. Things really changed so quickly. Even my niece and nephew is all grown up. They are so cute. Well then I was like so bored there because everyone was like crying. I mean it was a wedding, shouldn't people happy instead of sorrowful?

Well whatever. Then I went home with my mum after a long argument. Then suddenly, she persuaded, " I want you to get married when you are 23". I was like huh??? She seriously put so much pressure on me. Then I said. " I don't even have a boyfriend who do you want me to marry huh?"

She said," Just marry anyone", I was like so fed up, " Why should I be married if I am not even happy with my life mum? Marriage is a huge thing, I don't have the commitment and I want to be happy with the person whom I can share everything with," Then she just dropped the topic.

So whatever, it was quite a weird question from my mum. I guess she just wanted grandchildren as soon she will be lonely. Well for this reason, I want to work hard, get a great career and everything will fall in place.

Then she asked me to go jogging with her since she wanted to lose weight. I said ok at 5 pm. And do you know what she did?? She slept and I was lol. Then I decided to go for a run by myself. I guess it is good in a sense that I am able to keep my body fit and also let go of all my stress.

Well that's it. And ya my cousin wedding was so nice and I don't even recognise her neither did she even notice me. I guess I have changed a lot and it has been like more than 5 years since I ever saw anyone of them.

English result.

2009-03-07T04:40:00.000+10:00

Oh man! My dad seriously going to kill me when he sees my results. I failed my English and by 4 marks only! Confirm he will make me go deaf with all his nagging. I have never fail English my whole life and this is my first time.

How am I going to face him? I already put a lot of effort. What more does he expect from me. I am not as clever as my brother or like my other classmates. Why does he keep on comparing? I hate it. I am already trying my best here and he still not seeing that. He expect me to get all As for all my subjects.

No,no, no. I already failed both my language subjects. Other subjects I am still fine at it. He never praises me for the subject I improve but always pushes me down on subjects I am bad on. Well that is what I have to go through every time I came home and showed him my results,

No matter how hard I do, he will never be pleased.

And Mr Wee, criterion does help me with my English language a lot. Thanks for introducing it to us.

Happily ever after??

2009-03-03T19:08:00.000+10:00

I seen the Jack Neo first english drama which is called happily ever after. It involved two married couples. It shows what are the things you go through when you are married and the problems you will face during those times.

I guess, for me personally. I don't believe in happily ever after as there is no such thing. This benefits can only happen to the lucky few. I always hoped that one day, I will meet my "prince charming" and be happy. The only thing I ever wanted is just to be happy and even though we face difficulties in life I know that I can always count on him.

But what if I was the problem?? If I were the cause of the unhappiness? I can't do this, I can't make him happy? I don't want him to regret later on in his life if he were ever to marry me. I guess I just not ready to be with someone as I broke too many hearts. I just don't have the strength to carry on like this. Maybe I won't even find that someone, that someone who understands me. Who doesn't judge me and also whom can forgive me for all the wrong things I did in the past.

Where do I find this someone? Maybe I won't even find one. Or maybe he is just in front of me. But I will leave it up to faith to find my true love, Like what my mum says love is a bet, you either win it or lose it. I mum took that bet and now she regretted it in someways. She loved another guy when she was younger but faith brought my mum and dad together and that is how they end up together in the end. But the part of the blame is because of him.

I don't want to be miserable in the end. I want to live happily ever after. But will that ever be possible? That is what I always question myself. Maybe...I don't know..I'm confused..

Poem with no meaning

2009-03-02T17:01:00.001+10:00

I had no reason for posting this blog. But just some poems I am trying out. Though it doesn't really make sense.lol

Why don’t you just leave him?

I don’t understand

What is in him that you find?

Why? Why?

Don’t you know you are hurting me inside?

I suffered, I sacrifice half of my life because of you.

Go away, I don’t want to see you

You gave me nightmares, it is now branded in my mind

Leave him, it is for the best

For everyone

Though it is hard

Please just think about yourself

You don’t have to care about us

We can look after ourselves

We've grown up. Wake up.

I don’t want to see you suffer anymore

Don’t you know you are hurting me???

It breaks my heart to see you cry

Every night, full of regrets.

You are passing it to me

My life is turning upside down

Because of you

I stayed alone in this room

Because of you

I have a lot of regrets in my life

Because of you

I am like this

Please I beg you, leave him.

I can be on my own

I can get out of here

Away from everything

And never coming back

If that’s what you want

And for the best

I’ll be gone….

A bit depressing I know. Just something I wanted to write for no reason I guess...

Poem with no meaning

2009-03-02T17:01:00.000+10:00

I had no reason for posting this blog. But just some poems I am trying out. Though it doesn't really make sense.lol

Why don’t you just leave him?

I don’t understand

What is in him that you find?

Why? Why?

Don’t you know you are hurting me inside?

I suffered, I sacrifice half of my life because of you.

Go away, I don’t want to see you

You gave me nightmares, it is now branded in my mind

Leave him, it is for the best

For everyone

Though it is hard

Please just think about yourself

You don’t have to care about us

We can look after ourselves

We've grown up. Wake up.

I don’t want to see you suffer anymore

Don’t you know you are hurting me???

It breaks my heart to see you cry

Every night, full of regrets.

You are passing it to me

My life is turning upside down

Because of you

I stayed alone in this room

Because of you

I have a lot of regrets in my life

Because of you

I am like this

Please I beg you, leave him.

I can be on my own

I can get out of here

Away from everything

And never coming back

If that’s what you want

And for the best

I’ll be gone….

A bit depressing I know. What just something I wanted to write for no reason I guess...

Saturday

2009-02-28T19:53:00.000+10:00

Well today I set my alarm at 6.20 am because I was planning to do my chores before my mu came home but in the end, I woke up at 11 am. Ya 11 am so late. Kai ying came to my house today just to see me making my felt projects. Well in the end I made a few such as swiss roll and doughnuts and she enjoyed herself with my laptop. She even helped me play with my pet in petsociety.

She went home at 6 pm. So the whole we really did not do much but just doing our own stuffs and I was on the bed eating fried banana and watching tv while she was playing a dance game.

Then I kept on putting on this cheer leading cloth on my cat, it was so cute. Overall my day was quite tiring as I had to give my cat a bath and it was so hard. Then I had to clean my room as it was in a mess. Ok bye now. No much to write down.

What a day

2009-02-27T21:30:00.000+10:00

Today I went home after school. I took a bath and relax myself at home for a while. I was waiting for Zul to finish his friday prayers. I met with him and Lydia at cck mrt. Well as usual Zul was the one who is always late. He wore so smart today, sport shoe, white smart shirt and jeans. Then we dropped off at Jurong East Station and made our way to IMM. We reached there and decided to have lunch first as we were all hungry. At last we ate Fish and Co. We bought seafood platter and share among the three of us.

Ok the garden salad tasted so weird with vegetables which I had never saw before. THey even put anchovies inside which I really don't like,but the seafood was nice. Lydia did not really like the seafood that much so she did not really eat that much especially the squid. The seafood platter consist of squids, prawns, fries, rice and fish. It was a lot and the price is also quite "nice".

Then afterwards, we walked around the shopping centre and went to Daiso. I bought so many things and the total cost of my items were $20. ya economy crisis. Then Erwin called Lydia and told her that her trip to Bugis with Saiful and gang were cancelled. So she stayed with us throughout the whole day. Erwin and Su mui decided to joined us at IMM too. So the three of us waited for them. They seriously took a long time to come. I think nearly 2 hours we waited for them. So we started walking and Lydia and I left Zul at Best Denki because he was so into the laptops and we both decided to go other places which interest us.

Lydia and I chatted about random stuffs and soon we covered the whole level 2 area. Then we realised that we had forgotten about Zul and he too like forgotten about us as he did not call any of us. So we called him to meet us below and we went to get some drinks at the sweet talk. Zul called again asking were we. Then we met him at the macdonald. Then he also wanted to get a drink so we walked back to sweet talk. Lydia and I went to the restroom as she spill her milk tea.

Then the three of us walked to see what to have for dinner with Erwin and Su mui. My tummy was already calling me and Erwin and Su mui have still not reach yet. So I bought a cookie at Anderson. Ate it. Still waiting. Then finally the two of them arrived.

Ok then we all were planning to get something to eat but we accompany Erwin to Daiso to buy correction tape refill. Then we went to the directory as we all can't decide on what to eat. Actually Lydia and I was ok with the idea of eating at Secret Recipe but it was mostly cake and the price is quite costly. Then we walked to every shops that sells food to see what is nice to eat. Then we saw Bagus. It looks exactly like Banquet. And the food seem so boring.

At last we reached Spaghetti Too. The price is reasonable and is within all our budget. So we all sit together and start to order. I ordered the beef steak. Haa meat. lol. Then Zul and Erwin ordered baked rice. Lydia and Su mui ordered spaghetti.

We waited for the food and started to chat. I guess it has been a long time since I went out with them because I hardly go out together with them as I am always with my crazy mates. Lydia with her other friends, Erwin with his gang and Su mui her side of friends. So I guess this is the first that everyone from different clicks come together and enjoy ourselves.

I had so much fun. We talked about school and other funny things that ever happened to us. Su mui spaghetti came first. It had crayfish on it. It looks so delicious. Actually all the food looks delicious especially mine. We ate and chatted like nobody business.

Then we decided to get desserts. I share with Lydia and Erwin share with Zul. Only left Su mui alone and she ate it herself. She ordered chocolate cake whereas the rest of us bought brownies. We tasted Su mui cake and it was much nicer than our brownies as our brownies is lack of sugar. But overall it was nice.

Then Zu told us that his mum is giving us a ride home. Lydia and I were feeling guilty to get a ride from his mum so we told him that we are taking the Mrt home. We went to Watson, Guardian, Giant to find Erwin facial cleanser. Then we entered Giant again as Erwin wanted to get seaweed and I wanted to get sunflower seeds. The funny part is Su mui pulled me all the way to the plant section as she thought that I wanted the seeds for planting. lol. So we walked to the snacks section and Erwin found his seaweed and I finally found my sunflower seeds. Then Su mui got her favourite maggie.

The line was so long even the express lane. Ya right express. At last we walked to the other end of the place and the other express lane. Then I queue up and ended up the only lining up, the rest of them left me with their items. Only Lydia accompany me.

Afterwards, Su mui, Lydia and I stop at this accessories shop(forgotten the shop name). Lydia was so enthusiastic and she bought two rings with cost $2.90 each. And Su mui too bought it. Then it was finally time to go home. Last minute we decided to take Zul's mum car since the rest of them are taking too.

The girls sat in the front while the guys sat at the back. His mum car is so cool. Zul's mum is also so sporting. She listens to 98.7 FM which usually teenagers hears them and the volume was at the extreme. The ride was great. Along the way, they opened up the sunroof. The car is so cool. I looked up and saw the stars. It had been a long time since I saw the stars. Su mui stand to feel the wind. Then she sat and her her was in a mess. All of us laughed. We took photos to entertain ourselves and sang to the radio. Then at the road where there was no cars, his mum told us that we can stand if we wanted too. It was once in the lifetime. Su mui also encouraged us. At first Lydia and I were afarid of standing up. At last at the count of 3, we stand. I felt like a second and Lydia already sat down. I felt the wind a bit longer and sat down. Everyone laughed and I was like why?? My hair was like as if I just got out of bed.

Lydia was the first one to be dropped off and then it was me. I thanked her mum for the ride and went home. What a day. A great day. It was such a nice time to spend with our classmates as it is really hard to make time to spend with each other. And the whole day went well as we all had fun and did not argue on anything at all. It was fantastic.

Today

2009-02-26T18:50:00.000+10:00

During English we did the crossword puzzle. Now it was about Jurassic Park. It was much more difficult than the previous one. Mr Wee said that we can change group if we wanted to. And Zuhairi joined our group. We did the crossword in silent at first. Then the atmosphere of the silentness became lively. OK not so. Just that everyone was so into the crossword puzzle.

Ok then lets skip to Physic lesson. Mrs Oh finally snapped. She slammed a pile of worksheets on the table when we were in the lab. The class did not keep quiet when she asked them too. I was so surprised. I have never seen her like that before in my 2 years with her. Then afterwards Zul and I were like telling her to relax don't strain her voice. She really looked pissed and then finally cool down a bit.

Then afterwards we went for MT. Staying positive. Well I achieved that. Finally. I was having so much fun now with my life and juggling it pretty well. Well just have to wait when my report comes out. I was sitting beside Zul, in front of me was Zuhairi. Beside him was Jannah and Lydia and beside Lydia was Azhar. I realised that only our table consist of 5N1 students. We anti other class. Haha. Just kidding.

Then we suddenly talked about marriage. And I invited them to my marriage next year as I was going to get married. Then they all were like, "wooo". Then all the commotion started. Jannah was like," who with Zul??"

Then Zul said," Come to the wedding it is next week". I was like lol. Then we kept on talking about it and laughed so loudly and our group was the most noisy group. Then afterwards I went for geog with Lydia as we stopped by the ladies on the way there. We were the last two to enter the class. Class started with an evaluative question which we had to complete. Boring. Evaluative question always waste my pen ink. At least I decided to use a cheap pen that cost 50 cents to write the answer.

I wanted to go home straight today as Jac and Kai Ying have the English remedial afterwards and also I wanted to do something today at home. But instead I stayed behind to do the crossword puzzle with my group. We had been doing it during recess and geog lesson and until now we just left 2 puzzles answers to solve.

I went out of the class and headed to find a place to do the crosswords, Hanaffi went out of his class room saying," I will make you fall!" and he held his foot against mine when I was walking and I almost trip and fall. I was so pissed off. I even said vulgarities which I swore I will not say anymore this year, He always piss me off. I just wanted to tell him this," Grow up! You are already Sec 5 for goodness sake! Stop being childish" but I did not had the chance to say it because all the vulgar words were coming out from my mouth.

Then I stayed behind and Zuhairi, Zhi Yun and I ended up in Mr Wee remedial class. We even asked Miss Pek to help us solve it. Even she had no clue. I was desperately wanted to go home and do the crossword tomorrow but they insisted on doing it. At last I went home at 3.10. I went home with Zhi Yun but went to our separate ways as she wanted to take the lrt but mine had no money left and I also wanted to go greenridge.

I went to Greenridge. I started to pick whatever that I found nice. I took the cabbage and I was thinking of taking the sweet corn as well but when I saw the price I decided not to buy it. Then I went to the chocolate section. Haa my favourite. I was like took all the chocolate and decided to put them back one by one because I did not have enough money with me. I ended up with only one chocolate in the end. Then I went home and ate curry chicken with rice. During recess I ate shrooms burger which was a day old. But as usual I was hungry. At night I ate my green cabbage with some coleslaw and washed it down with milk.

Ok for my coming report slip. I am totally nervous since I know that my English will 100% be F9. My dad going to kill me. I have never fail my English for my entire life. I have been failing in comprehension but passed my composition. I am sure going to get executed soon by my dad as both of my languages will end up with U grades.

I will continue to PERSEVERE

2009-02-24T18:16:00.000+10:00

As all of you know that I hate one subject.That is MT. After thinking for a while, maybe I should just persevere. Just keep on doing my best though all my papers are mark with a 'F' sign. I try not to give up.

Well for me, I study mostly for my teachers. I don't know why but I guess I depend on my teachers a lot and they are my motivator. Once I lose my motivation and will never regain it again unless there is an understanding between me and the teacher itself.

For example,ss, I used to fail it terribly and it always put down my combined humanities grade. I used to blame my teacher for the bad marks because I did try my best and I studied but still got an F. Then during the June holiday remedial it changes everything. My perceptive of her and my results. I confront her and ask, "why no matter how much effort I put I never pass the subject?!" Then she replied," Maybe you still don't get it but slowly you will. You have to persevere and your results soon will be better". Then we went greenridge with the rest of my classmates and I started to chat to her. Soon the misunderstanding is understood. My results also change a lot and for my prelim, I got first in class. I was shocked. She told me well done. I was like huh?? Then she announced to the whole class that I was the top. Everybody was like shocked because they know my results for ss was terrible. It was unbelievable Then after all that had happened my results has been pretty well.

Well to me, I don't see the point of giving up on myself anymore because of (the). So I will do it well for my teacher. Maybe I do it for Mrs John as she only wanted one thing from me and that was good results. I will do it for her for my MT subject and hopefully I will pass with flying colors. And also I bet with Lidan that if she do well on her English subject and I will do will for MT subject. If our results really comes out well, we both will reward ourselves by going to pizza hut and eat,

So overall, I strive my best. Hopefully everything will turn out the way I wanted

Article on Chocolate craving stays

2009-02-23T18:45:00.000+10:00

Ok although I am really busy right now, I think I better post this blog before I forget.

Well everyone loves chocolates! Who does not? The taste of it when it melts in the mouth as soon as it touches your tongue. Well this article is talking about chocolate!! Obviously.

It stated that the price of chocolate has increased up to 40 per cent, due to the rising cost of cocoa. The low supplies from the Ivory Coast and Ghana has also cause the price hike.

For example at Sheng Shiong Supermarket, a 250g of Cadbury's Dairy Milk chocolate now cost $4.50, up from $3.80 in less than a month.

Those chocolate business are experiencing the worse impact as the rise of cocoa are eating into their profits.

Now consumers are buying fewer chocolates and choosing the less expensive options.

Chocolate is the all time favourite. I, myself love chocolates a lot. Although there has been an increase in the price of the chocolate, I will still buy them but I will but less often as it really eats up my pocket money. A lot. And chocolate is also a good form of medicine. Did you know that? Chocolates help people to relieve their stress and make them feel good about themselves. Personally I will not stop eating them!

Sharizah (19) 5N1

Boring Sunday

2009-02-22T17:27:00.000+10:00

I hate sunday, it is so boring. Nothing to do. Today I went out with my family to sheng shiong at Ten Mile Junction. I went there to eat and buy other necessceties for our survival.lol. I reached home about 12 pm and I started reading my New moon book again. Finishing soon. I thought of studying and finishing my poa topics but instead I watch a movie called "little man". The show is so funny. But it is NC 16 because some parts are not appropriate for kids to watched.

Afterwards, I forced myself to study but after 5 mins I went to my book again. Then my mum start nagging at me saying why I keep on reading book and she asked if I don't study is it. She was being so sarcastic.

I did not bother what she was saying then I just went to my room to continue reading and soon enough I slept. I woke up about 7 pm which was quite late and I was sweating like crazy. I was also suppose to fry the chicken but I could not be bother and my dad fry it for me. I also ate alot today. I ate like every hour.

So after all the eating my stomach was bloated. I decided to do my poa rewrite and my cat keeps on disturbing me. She kept on sleeping on the piece of paper which I had to use to write my answer. So I decided to sit at the couch to do my work and she is such a busybody and slept on another piece of paper which I place on the coffee table. She totally wanted attention but I just don't care. I did not get anything done because of her so I decided to just stroke her neck and brush her fur until she felt asleep. Now I got to finish my Ss presentation.

Ciao.

Busy Saturday

2009-02-21T18:50:00.000+10:00

Today was a busy day for me. I decided not to hang out with my mates today as I had so much to complete. I also did not get much sleep yesterday because I tried to complete my vector notes but just half way through it. I slept at 2 am and woke up at 6am just to start reading my New moon book to improve my english. So I guess I got about 4 hours of sleep?My dad thought that I did not sleep for the whole day and he is worried about me. I told him not to worry I did sleep. A little.

Then I started to get on with my school work and I found that it was frustrating as I feel that my work is never done. I still had to clean my room since my mom has been nagging at me for the past week and she have been scolding me for not doing my chores. Hello? I did mine, it is just that my dad was the one who is so lazy to wash his own plate. She also nag at me for not picking up my cat poop. I guess I was just so tired.

Around afternoon, my eyes started to close and I can't keep myself awake so I took a rest. My mum also did not cook today and I was hungry like hell. My fridge also had run out of food. At last I ate maggie which my dad will kill me if he found out. At night, my brother disturbed me. He wanted to trade his study desk with mine but I refused. Instead I helped him reorganise his room.

I lie down on his study table as it was empty compared to his bed which was filled with electronics gadgets. I read my New moon book as I watch him moved his bed, desk and piano around the room. Spend almost two hours there in his room reading the book. Now at chapter 15.Finally. So at last he kept his own desk as I desperately did not want to change.

So after that I went back to study my poa subjects which I am getting used too. I make sure that I complete all the 25 chapters by tomorrow. I know I am cramping too much information in my brain but I can't help it, there is just so much to do. I better go now and complete the rest. I don't think I will sleep early tonight.

These are the things yet to be done:

Geog: Case study on Kalimantan and the four types of forests.

S.s: Presentation on Vernice

Poa: Notes on Control accounts, Incomplete records and rewrite answers

Physic: Homework

Chemistry: Notes on Mole concepts

English: Comprehension practices

Math:Vectors notes

Mt: Revision

Do you now know what I mean? Man I will die like this.

Today

2009-02-20T22:26:00.000+10:00

English lesson was great today! I had so much fun although our team did not win. I was so enthusiasm in the game that I did not even notice the time flies so fast. My team nearly had all the answers except for number 20 I think.

The biggest mistake was Zul group who give the answer for the crossword 1. The word was highlighted which I believe no one had the answer. I guess I really enjoyed myself today and learn something.

Hopefully we are able to do this crossword puzzles again but not fair some of the group team up so we had little chance of winning. But overall it was great.

Then it was recess. Ate my egg and crab sandwich which I am getting sick of. Then we talked about random things like travelling to Vernice which is related to our SS topic. Some were studying for the Maths test which was today. I did not really studied much because I prepared myself few days ago. Then it was SS.

Forgotten to bring my SS book. Which I swear that I had put it in my bag. I really thought someone stole it or something. I guess I was wrong and do you know what the book was? It was beside my toy whale. Great.Just great.

I was like praying and hoping she won't make me present in front the whole class. And luckily she did not. But I hate it, she wanted us to get into groups of 4 and we have to present on the topic Vernice. Man I just hate presenting. It is so troublesome, might as well I just listen to whatever Ms Rafiya teach although it may be dry sometimes.

Then it was Maths lesson, did the test till 12.10pm. I made sure that the check my matrices answers for at least 4 times because I am always careless with my calculations. I know that I left 22 marks because I minus off the mistakes that I had made.

Ok then I went home and check my mails. Didn't check it for quite some time. And you know ? I had 1600 emails not read yet! I had to delete every single one of them. It was mostly junk mails. Then I started to read my new moon again.Finished till chapter 6 and most probably will continue tomorrow. Wow now is 1.30 am. Better sleep Gdnight.

Forgotten about details

2009-02-19T15:57:00.000+10:00

Ok yesterday I was in a rush so I hardly write anything in my blog. So I guess I will write it today. Yesterday during PE, as usual I help Mr Sng and with my few other friends. Now we are known as the "equipment people". So ok this time around I decided to challenge Jac since it has been a long time ever since I played with her. We had lots of fun but we still sucked at the game.

In the end, we had to do 20 push up and 40 sit ups because we lose to our competitor. Now my stomach and shoulders are hurting badly. So after all that we continued to play tennis and I decided to challenge with Mr Sng. I so badly wanted to win him because he is like a professional.

Ok so I score two times and I thought I was winning but I was wrong. After that two points I kept on losing and Mr Sng kept on winning. He is so clever that once he hit the ball directly at my legs so I did not get a chance to return it. I totally panicked when he kept on scoring in the end he won. 2-7. Great. Then we was like jumping and shouting,"Yes!". Haha.

Ok today was funny. What I can remember most about today is Mr Derek Lim! Haaaa....Ok I have gone crazy!lol. Well he used to be my physic teacher and I like him so much and he made me to be his physic rap. I was excited. Well anyway that was last year.

So today I was at my usual study place. I was eating my chocolate waffle.Then Mr Lim was walking down the staircase and out of nowhere he took out his cellphone. He wanted to take a picture of me eating, luckily I had fast reflexes and I quickly chew my waffle.It was so soft.lol

Mr Lim: Haiya I should have taken it while you are eating". Then he said," quick eat so I take a photo of you".

I was like blushing.lol. Then I said," I don't want, I very paiseh."My whole face was like red. Then he said ok next time. After that he entered the general office.I realised I forgotten to say I miss him.lol. Because it has been a long time since I saw him. From what I remembered the last time I saw him was during the N level results when he shook my hands and congratulated me. Haaa.

Then he came out of the general office, I shouted," Mr Lim I forgotten to tell you that I miss you!".He smiled widely. I felt so excited and he took out his phone again to take my photo as I was still eating my waffle. Haha, it was so funny and he chatted with for a while and asked me how I have been doing and everything.

After that he left with the smile still there. I totally have de stress myself after that event. Ok then I did my physic homework which was somewhat easy. Then I saw Mrs Oh and I shouted with so much excitement," Mrs Oh you see I doing physics you know" and she laughed.

I still could not control my excitement. I was going crazy. So she talked to me and my friends for a while and then she asked," eh, Zul not here today?".

I don't know why out from nowhere I said," he left me!" It sounded so wrong. Mrs Oh was laughing non stop and her face turned red. Then when she was going nearer to the staircase I told her, " Mrs Oh, promised that you won't tell Zul!". And she laughed again.

Ok I need to make things clear here that Zul and I are just friends but everyone was like saying we are couple or something, even my crazy mates and Mrs Oh.Haha.

I guess school somehow always helps me to destress myself from all the drama that I have been going through. And now I try my best to look on the brighter side of life. Everyone wants that.

So do I. Mr Wee you are right. You can't always win it all. I understand now.

Today...

2009-02-18T17:49:00.000+10:00

It was an ok day for me today. I have been hungry easily nowadays and I kept on eating in different lessons. I also have been studying too much lately that my brain just cannot coop up with me. I think I got my stress from Jac!lol.

Well, I pretty much have been doing fine for my some of my subjects and doing pretty well for science. I just need to brush up on certain subjects such as poa and mt. Other than that I have no problems.

Well tomorrow will be quite a busy day with a lot of tests coming up and also teaching my sec 3 friend science subjects. I hate tomorrow. Don't worry I will prove to her that I can make it.

MT=Mati!

It is my problem so drop it!

2009-02-17T16:33:00.000+10:00

Ok firstly I am not targeting anybody here so don't get offended. Seriously this is my life, this is the way I want to live it. I don't need advice from third party on how am i suppose to live it ok? So get it clear.

I have my reasons for being rude to certain things. I don't need someone to make me feel more worse. I am trying my best so don't judge me. I don't need any hash comments so if you have them keep it to yourself. Thanks.

You don't know the other part of my life or anything so don't act as if you know. The only thing I need right now is for you to leave me alone. Only Mrs Lee understand why I am what I am.

You don't have to worry as I will not blame her if I get bad results. I will blame myself. If I ever regret with my actions, it is my fault not hers. So get this straight.

I may have AP sometimes. That is just who I am. If you know me you will understand.

P.S. Sorry Mr Wee this blog is not related to you.

Vegetables!!

2009-02-16T18:34:00.001+10:00

I have been craving for vegetables these few days. I guess I miss my green friends!! My stomach has been growling from just now and I decided to cook anything that i can find in the fridge. I took out some green peas and started to add other ingredients such as garlic,onions and oyster sauce.

As you all know that i am a terrible cook, I thought that it will not turn out right. But my stomach cannot hold it any longer. I just add all the ingredients that I found and heat it up. Well I did not even dare to taste it. I was afraid that it would taste terrible but luckily it tasted quite nice. I ate it with some rice but it tasted better without rice though.

I so love my vege-friends! I must eat more of these.haha

Article on Ink Corporated (body art)

2009-02-16T17:08:00.000+10:00

This article is about young people marking their bodies with more than just tattoos.

Youths are becoming more wild by going for micro-dermal piercings, split tongues, implants or scarring themselves.

Few reasons on why they did this is firstly to stand out from the crowd. Secondly, to release stress and pressure. Also these body arts are not cheap. It can cost up to few thousand dollars depending on what type of tattoos.

Here are the details of some of the different types of tattoos.

Micro-dermal piercing:

A hole in the skin is created using a dermal punch. A stud is inserted underneath the skin.The pain level is 4 out of 5 and young people as young as 16 has done it. It cost from $150 onwards.

Implants:

An incision is made with a scalpel to create a pocket underneath the skin. The implant is inserted and punches through to the desired area.Cost about $300 onwards.

Scarification:

A scalpel is used to cut a stencilled design on the skin. A scar forms where the skin is cut. Can cost up to few hundreds dollars depending on the size.

UV tattoos:

Tattoos done with a special kind of ink to make them glow under UV lights.

Split tongues:

Forceps are used to hold tongue in place. A scalpel knife is then used to cut the tongue into halves(ouch). The sides are stitched to prevent them from growing back together.

Well for my own personal opinion, I will never ever get a tattoo of any kind or whatsoever. I think it is disgusting to get body art and that it will be permanent for the rest of our life.

So what if we no longer want that tattoo that we had made few years ago???Go for laser surgery?? Wouldn't that leave a permanent scar on the skin. It will be so unpleasant to see for the rest of our life.

Especially the split tongue which I am totally against it. We are human beings why do we need a tongue like a lizard?. I sometimes feel that they just don't think.

Well i am still fine with those normal tattoos since most of my uncles have them. But they told me that they regretted getting them. So i guess it is all up to what personal individuals think. Some like body art and they do it for attention. Others just wanted to feel that they belong.

So for me, I would never get married with a guy that has any kind of body art nor support it. I guess body art is not something that I will ever like. But this is just my opinion. Hopefully youths would think of the consequences of getting body art before getting them.

Sharizah (19) 5N1

At the library now!

2009-02-15T16:10:00.000+10:00

I am sitting at the corner of the room at woodlands library with Erwin and Zul. Been here since 2 pm. Well we did not really studied as Erwin was with my laptop the whole time updating his blog. Zul was doing maths and i kept on disturbing him with my own math problems.

We went to pastamania to eat since it is already halal. Well i had eaten there before though. Now beside me is Erwin, studying ss and preparing himself for the upcoming test on Iraq and Kuwait conflict. Oh the other side is Zul.As usual with his cellphone. Now he is going to find book.

Well for me, i have been sitting for 4 hours and my butt starting to hurt. I don't think i can get any things done here. I guess i just use my laptop and get some school related work done.

I was thinking what the heck am i doing here? well at least it is better than being coop up at home with my nagging mom and my annoying cat.

We also took several photos with my web cam. And Erwin kept on clicking the mouse and my face turn out pretty ugly. Then we fought over the mouse as Erwin wanted my ugly photo and I stop him from sending it to Zul's phone.

Now we are relaxing. It is already 7.10pm I think we better go back. Those two boys still want to eat. I am so bloated. Ok bye now.Will post the photos soon.

Happy valentine's day everyone

2009-02-14T19:21:00.000+10:00

Hey everyone! Love is in the air! haha. Well i really enjoyed myself today with my mates. Sorry Erwin that i did not go out with you to the movies because i can't miss my GIRLS' day out. It has been a while since we went out together. And some more the coming weeks will be a lot of stress since our CA is coming up.

So we had to destress ourselves. I fried the chicken wings at around 12pm. Well i still suck at frying foods. Because i tasted the chicken that i had fried and it was half cook.yuck!. So I fried it twice.Hopefully it was cooked.

Then meet with my mates, Jac and Kai Ying. As usual i meet Jac below my block since she just live 2 storey above me. Then we met Kai Ying at Jelapang.Along the way we saw Boon How(sorry I don't know how to spell his name) and kiong huat.

We went Ten Mile Junction to get a bottle of wine.lol.Not really wine, it is just a fruit juice which they put it in those wine bottle. So i bought the white grape juice. Then Kai Ying bought cabury chocolate. Everyone was bringing something for the so called celebration.

Then went for a walk around the shopping centre. We bought oil based pens that Mrs Oh were talking about when school reopen. Then afterwards we decided to head out to the park but I bought watermelon honeydew since it was quite a warm day.

Alighted at Jelapang station. We walked slowly to the park and just start to talk about random stuffs like what happen in school and which guys we are interested in school.Those kinds of things. So we reached the big pond area at bukit panjang park and Kai Ying was afraid to go down.In the end we went to a sheltered place. We took all our foods out. My fried chicken wings, peanut butter and hundred and thousand bread. Jac took out her tidbits and Kai Ying her chocolate.

Then we started to take photos to remember this special day which we celebrated being single. Well for me it was shocking that i stayed single for quite some time. I guess as long as i have my mates, I don't mind staying single till the right person is there for me.

So we decided to open the "wine" bottle. I had a hard time opening it as i was terrified that it would explode. I watched so many shows showing how they opened the wine bottle and i was still bad at it. At last with the loud pop sound i knew it has open. So we enjoyed ourselves very much today but a mosquito keeps on bothering us.

So anyway, Jac and Kai Ying start to talk in mandarin which i don't understand because they were planning my birthday. Until now i still had no clue. They won't even tell me a single thing. I am sure going to kill them.haha.

We were all bloated after eating the food.My stomach looks like i was 3 months pregnant and it hates me. I started to feel uneasy with my stomach and decided to lie down on the bench for a while. So i let them talk about my birthday plan.I hoped that they won't make it into such a big surprise.

Then we decided to go home since we had been at the park for nearly 2 hours.Eating. As we walked Kai Ying wanted us to bring back some of the chocolate and Jac gave me her Lay's potato chips. I saw a couple which walked pass us.

I said," Happy valentine's day'.I know lol. but she gave me the thumbs up sign as she walked and disappear from my sight.

Well i really enjoyed this day although it was meant for couples.That doesn't mean that we can't still celebrate with our closest friends. They are always there for you when you in need and they understand you better than anyone else. So this day is not only meant for couples but also the people who you loved and care.Everyone can have the love on this day and knowing that no matter what happen there is always someone special in your life. I am grateful to have friends like Jac and Kai Ying.

Afterwards i came home and rest. Just a few minutes i closed my eyes, my phone rang. It was the aunty from the lrt. I had been friends with her since i was in primary 5.I know so long right. She asked me to help her daughter with her homework. Anyway i still owe her 4 more lessons of tuition and she already paid me last year and i still had not taught her finish. So i said i will be there right away.

As soon as i arrived at the lrt. Her daughter was there crying. Why is she always so hard on her.She is just a kid. So i brought her to macdonald and her mother wanted to pay me but i rejected it because i don't want to be paid as i still owe her alot. She is very generous to me when it comes to money.

So i taught her science and total defence day. I was like total defence??? I still remembered what Ms Rafiya and Mr Aljunied said during the assembly.

What will you defend??? Everything!. Lol.

So i told her to write that on the paper. Then the science was like so easy.for me at least. It was about hamster and how to keep it alive.

Ended quite late about 7 and talked with her mother till 8 pm. Her mother even gave me green tea drink. That was nice since i was feeling thirsty. I was so happy to find out that someone actually bought my phone strap.Sold about 3.Great been there since last year and sold only 3. It's ok as long it is selling well. Then i went home and my dad was like where did you go the whole day.

Here was my answer. Out celebrating valentine and gave a kid tuition. Then he left me alone. So i took a shower afterwards as i felt very hot. Played my guitar and my dad help me tune it. Also my house has ran out of food so i decided to fry some fish.

Total regret. The hot oil was like splattering here and there. I was so afraid and as soon the hot oil explosion i took it out and put it on a plate. My dad told me that it is not crunchy yet so he fried it again. Ok great I will never be good at frying food and never will be cause i hate it with all the cholesterol and fats inside. I rather have food that is steam which is more healthy.

So i thinks that's all. I don't know why all my blogs is so long. All my friends kept on asking me why i write so long and i told them once i write i cannot stop because there is so much to share. Ok well i better stop typing now or it will be even longer.

Oh ya how did you celebrate your valentine's day Mr Wee??Ok Sharizah stop typing already!.lol

nothing much....valentine tml

2009-02-13T14:25:00.000+10:00

I know i have been making all of you bored with the story of my life in this school. I just don't really have anything interesting to share.Maybe next month there will be?? well tomorrow will be valentine's day. I'm going out with my mates just around here to distress ourselves.

Well today we finished going through the test paper that we all did. The results? It was more worse than the previous one. I got 12 out of 50.Thats terrible.

Well seriuosly i like doing essays better. It is much easy to score. Got to work hard hard especially on my comprehension.

And today when i arriveed school with my mates.As we entered the class, there were wrapped muffins on every table. It was nice for the mystery person who made this for us. Well i am still curious. I wanted to know who were the person who made the muffin.

Today there is nothing interesting. The lesson went per normal except for some distraction during english lesson which was the fire drill. But after that went back to our normal lessons.

Skip MT remedial again. Hope that my teacher did not call my father.

sharizah (19) 5N1

It was nice

2009-02-12T15:25:00.000+10:00

Firstly i want to thank Mr Wee for reading my every blog. It was nice to hear that he enjoyed reading my all the blog that i had posted. He said it was interesting and i had many details compared to the others. But i think that i hardly write details on my blog as i don't really know how to express certain things. Too bad he could not stay in our class because i really needed him to tell me how to shorten my essay because i feel that all that i had written are relevant. So i really don't know which ones to cancel out. Never mind i will figure it out today.

So today lesson was "normal". What i meant by normal is that there is nothing bizarre going on with our class. Can't to think of it, there was one event happened today that i could not stop thinking. During poa lesson, when Mrs goh was teaching i don't know why but suddenly she started to become angry. Her once smiling face disappeared and her eyes glared on the other side of the classroom. She was frustrated. She started to scold,not really a scolding but giving a sense of frustration advice. She was still not satisfied that our form teacher did not change our sitting arrangement because our class really becoming from bad to worse.

Some students are really the blame for it but nobody is doing anything.I guess they are afraid. Ya so anyway, Mrs Goh was really angry but those who were talking could not be bothered at all. Seriously for me, i thought why they had to come back?Their attitude for studying was not even there. They are really wasting their one year.

So whatever. I can't be bothered by them either. I help Erwin on chemistry today during the lesson. A lot of them were asking me for help and asking me for the right answer.As if i know. Because they thought that science is my forte so most of them ask help from me. Somehow i like helping them in science subjects since i know it pretty well and also i am terrible in my other subjects so none of them come to me for help in other subjects.haha.

Lydia was also saying that it was not fair that i don't have to attend english remedial but she had too since she got a B4 for english. I was like so sarcastic and told her that she had to be like me and during oral,speak in a British accent so when making mistakes it is hard for the markers to notice. So i think it is so lame.

During physic, It was back to the noisy environment. I really cannot stand it and Mrs Oh also could not take it. She just said," 5N1 you are going from bad to worse,why do i always feel as if i am talking to myself".

I also did not listen to her when she was teaching because i already attended her remedial two days ago.So i carried on with my other topics of physic and studied for my test.She did not mind as she already said that those who had attended her lesson can do their own things and they don't have to listen to her.

So after physic lesson ended, It was the first time that i saw Mrs Oh rushed out of the classroom and she walked so fast that my feet could not catch up. I definitely know that she was piss off.

Great.MT. Did "imbuhan" because our teacher thinks we are terrible at it. Then it was so embarrassing because she told the whole class to shout out their marks to her. I was the worst one. I got 8 marks upon 20. When she called my name,sharizah, I shouted,"8".Then all those eyes were staring at me. I hate it!

As soon as the bell rang, i get out of the classroom and went for my geography lesson.Mdm Howe was happy today, she smiled at me when she saw me going for my other lesson today. So my guess was that she already solved her problem. But as i sat on my grey plastic chair, my face was unhappy, i was moody. Mdm Howe saw it because i did not really smile as i entered her lesson today though an hour ago she saw me smiling. She sure know how to make me happy.

She did something different today. She wanted us to do pair work on the causes of (great i had forgotten). So anyway we were all enjoying ourselves.Kai Ying and i was the first one to finish our work but got two answers wrong and Mdm Howe very bad she don't want to tell us what is the mistakes. Then I and Kai Ying spend so much time trying to find out where we had gone wrong because mostly her answers sound the same. Then i was like begging to her to tell us but she only gave us 1 clue and told us which two was wrong and we had to change it by ourselves. The worse thing was, the dateline is at 2pm sharp. It was few seconds before the bell ring and finally we took a risk by changing one of the answer.

I hurried and approach her table and said," Mdm Howe don't ever make us do this again" then she was like given me those evil laugh of hers. It was cute. Then when the bell sounded, everyone panicked.The class became so chaotic.

Then there she was standing and i said to her," Mdm Howe,you should do like last time where you start walking and then everyone will chase you to give you their work".

And she agree so she said," Hello, I want this by today.Once i step into the staff room,i will not give any marks".

Then she started to walk out of the classroom and she purposely walked so fast like last year when she used to do this to us. Then Jac and Zhi Yun were like panicking and the stapler that they used run out of staple and she changed it like three times.

Once they finished.Jac,Kai Ying and i was like chasing after Mdm Howe and she was like halfway to the staff room already. It was like some kind of emergency and other teachers were staring at us from the lift area.

Then she turned and she finally and good that you guys make it.i was like lol and trying to catch my breath. Then when we were turning back and i was going to the canteen,the rest of my classmates were chasing after her.It was so funny you should have seen it.

So after all that crazy event i finally could catch my breath.So i buy some food and went up to class to eat. Then took my science test.

And ya Mr Wee, please try to speak softly when you are standing beside me.PLEASE, because just now my ear drums were like vibrating when you were standing beside me and talking.lol.thanks.

Wow what a big day

2009-02-11T12:55:00.000+10:00

Well i will tell you about yesterday, Mdm Howe looked so sad.She never talked much in class and was not very hyper either.Something was bothering her. I was looking at her all the time while doing my work. She put both of her hands on her cheeks,her smile fades and she was so quiet. When Erwin ask what wrong, she did not answer. I guess something must had happened that she does not want us to know.

But then when it was social studies, Ms Rafiya was not herself either. She was so hyper and for the first time she did not scold the people who did not do her work. She was even friendly to them.lol. Then when she went through the papers with us on sbq. Everytime we had finish one question, at the end she will ask this.

Ms Rafiya: " Why all of you so quiet say Oh lah"

Then the whole class will be like ohhh.very lame i know but funny in a sense.We even told Mrs Oh during the remedial and she found that it was cute. Haiz Mrs Oh always tease me and zul.so sad and i always blush when she does that.I don't know why but i and zul are just friends. So anyway that was all yesterday.

Today was exciting, We played tennis which i was terrible at. I made a fool of myself everytime Mr Sng watch me play. He was also so funny because hhe let people to challenge him but most of them lost to him except a few. Then he would like drop his racket and give those "air" kisses around like those singers to their fans. It was funny to see him acting that way. Everyone was like,"Is he okay?" or "What happen to him".

It was great to see him acting like a student once in a while rather than being so stern. He is actually quite a great discipline teacher.All of them are.

So after all that,let's skip to english. English was freaking noisy with Zuhairi kept on shouting and Saiful singing. It was irritating!. We went through the corrections for the comprehension and i fail.Great.First time. No wonder teachers complaint.

Then it was recess.I ate my nugget and almost going to choke. Nothing much to say. When it came to maths, more than half the class already resting their heads on the table and some even fell asleep.I was one of them. I was so exhausted from all the activities from yesterday and pe this morning that i could not get my eyes to open no matter how much i tried to. But then surprisingly i get my answers correct though i slept through it.And all my friends were like telling me to sleep during maths so i understand better or else i really don't understand a thing.

As soon as the bell rang, some of our heads landed on the plastic table. I did not even noticed that Ms Rafiya was inside the class until i heard her voice. She asked all of us why we lookef so restless and if we can make it till social studies remedial. But all of them were like telling her to postpone and some more tomorrow we have our science test so we need to prepare.

So Ms Rafiya postpone our remedial since she know that we were all so tired.So after school ended. Went to popular to buy book and went home. Sorry no details.Really tired and i am going to take a nap now. Ciao.

I'm so tired and sleepy

2009-02-10T18:26:00.000+10:00

Just got back from school at 9pm. Yes 9 pm. So late right?. Well our chemistry night class just ended. Pretty i think a make quite a great science teacher.lol. Cause my classmate understood what i had taught them. Then i kept on saying to Mrs Yeo," cher i make such a good teacher" and ," i think i come back and become a science teacher" then she always laugh when i said this. And finally she remembered my name.Or else she always confused me with lydia. I don't think we look the same, do we?

The most thing that made me tired was having lessons all the way till night time. Ok after school, we took our lunch break then after that we went for physic remedial.Ky came a bit late.Physic remedial ended at 3.45 pm.

Ky and i had to rush to art room for our cca.NO BREAK. Then we were there for like 3 hours doing art textures using recycle materials and the instructor was Mdm Yeo's husband.No wonder when i first saw him i found that he looked quite familiar. Then Mdm Yeo talk to us. Asking if we were the only sec 5 around. I nodded my head then she ask if i always never come right. Then i told her that it is not that i don't want come it is just that i am very busy.For example today, after physic remedial, we go art club then some more they say it will end at 6.30pm which is the time when we had to go for night class. Of course will get tired right? Then she was surprised to know that we had started on our night class. Then she felt poor thing for us.

Then we went back to our sit and started on our texture things again. I made it till it was so messy. haha that is call art.Mdm Yeo went on telling my art teacher Ms Wee then my new art teacher, i don't know her name. Then all 3 of them start to stare at us. The glare was so uncomfortable especially when i am trying to concentrate what Mdm Yeo's husband is telling us to do.

So they release us early. Thank you. I relax at the fountain area there and my stomach just hates me. Then also so many teachers walk pass and ask why we were still in school.Easy answer.Night class. All their answer back to us was,So early night class start already, and all so curious and ask who was the teacher who gave us the night class.

Well at least i learn something while i was there and can give some of my knowledge to my friends and also joke around with Mrs Yeo because i hardly get a chance to talk to her.

Also today lesson was so funny. Maybe i update tomorrow cause now is going to reach 9.30pm and i want to eat and sleep cause i got only 6 hours of sleep yesterday. Ok bye now.

how badly i want this

2009-02-08T15:24:00.000+10:00

No matter what, I have to force myself. I must do whatever it takes to get me to where I want to be. I don’t care if I have to sit in front of my desk 24 hours per day just to study. I need to get top, I need to have my name on that banner. Die, die I have to make it. I will not give up without a fight.

I just want to be smart but somehow I have to put more effort than the rest in understanding the subjects that are taught. I feel that my efforts are paying off; bit-by-bit. I need a miracle. I need a portion that can somehow help me achieve all of this.

I just need a free peace of mind. I need unlimited time. Just like Edward and his family.

Sharizah (19) 5N1

it rains

2009-02-08T15:03:00.000+10:00

Finally it rains. I don’t know since when it last started to rain. At least now it is not so hot anymore. And I don’t have to keep on bathing 4 times per day just to keep my body temperature cooler. I just wish everyday would be like this.

The droplet of raindrop that falls from the sky has always led me to a world of imaginations. Though every time it rains, I could not help having so many different emotions that surround me inside. For a second I feel so sad, then another I feel full of hope.

I just love rainy days. It makes me happy and full of joy.

sharizah (19) 5N1

I'm so bored

2009-02-07T13:49:00.000+10:00

I have nothing today at home. I was planning to finish all my notes today but every time i start to write, my mind start to wonder.I just want to go school. I don't wish to stay at home. there is nothing to do. At least at school i am able to chat with my friends and teachers and learn something. At home is like a prison, no life, so isolated.

I want to go out but my feet is just lazy. I want to enjoy the fresh air outside but there the weather is so hot. I want to go school but it is close. So where should i go or do? I don't know the last option is study i guess. But it is so hard to study at home with distractions surrounding me. No peace of mind.

I want to do something fun, something different rather than stuck here doing nothing. I want to be free. Well my parents has given me all the freedom i wanted so i don't blame them. They have been busy with work lately and noe we hardly spend time as a family. Even my brother is busy with his school stuffs.So left me and my cat. My cat spend most of her time sleeping so i am bored.

What should i do???I want to do my homeworks and revision but my body is just so exhausted. My mind is cluttering with informations which are not of any use to me. Maybe i should pick up a new hobby?? Learn a new song?

I think i try to think of something to entertain myself today. I guess i am so bored to death.

Well today will be all about english

2009-02-06T18:28:00.001+10:00

I have not been running out of words to type on the blog ever since i started blogging on multiply. Well firstly is for the marks sake.Secondly i somehow like blogging since i know that someone reading it (i meant you).hehe. There was always comment on every blog, Mr Wee had never failed to miss a single blog entry of mine ever since i started posting.That's what i like about him.

Well i today was the end of school for the week. So i guess i just have spare time to write two blog. And i decided to write about English.

Well i got back my composition around this week which Mr Wee had taken a long time to mark. REALLY LONG.About two weeks or so nearly a month since he was MIA for the other two weeks.

I passed my english composition but it was not a great pass;it was just pass.I was still glad because i always heard stories from my friend who had been taught by him. How hard it was to pass in his class because his marking is very strict.

His only comment on my paper was, "more high value words?."Thats it. So i guess my story were not that bad and i could have gotten a higher marks if i had used more of those chimp words which i not used to it yet.

I just hoped that he will do more compositions in the future because i have lots of stories to share. By the way Mr Wee, are we allow to write loved story which actually related to the question and without all the mushy,mushy stuffs?.Or we can still add those romance kind of atmosphere?

Well i wishing to have a grade of at least 80 marks for his subject. Got to work extra hard and improve my vocabulary so that i can score well.

Not a bad day...

2009-02-06T10:46:00.000+10:00

First lesson was English, Mr Wee is always on time for all our classes though he took quite some time setting up his laptop and he always have problems with his internet connections.hehe. He told us that he red 2 to 3 blogs early in the morning around 4 or 5 am.Crazy. Sorry Mr Wee. lol. He told us that some students think that he speak too loud, i know who that is,lydia.haha. I guess it is true in some way and he could even joke about it saying that he he is growing old and his earing also won't be that good,and that he speak loudly so that he could hear himself too.haha.

He gave us comprehension,a test.Great. But surprisingly this was much easier then the one that Ms Natalie given us about the war stuff. I did not had any serious problem in doing the paper except for qn 8b. I did not even know what the question was asking me. If i could remember, i think it was what comparison statement...."out of the frying pan and into the fire", if i am not wrong. At first i thought, mayeb the yabbies just wanted to kill themselves faster so they jump into the fire. But i guess it was rather ridiculous. So i tried to think of something else but nothing came up and ended up writing the answer anyhow.

Then it was recess, ate the food at the canteen since my house did not have anything. Came back to class after recess, finding Mr Wee still there in the class talking to the top students. Wow. I thought to myself, he had nothing better to do in our class, he was allowed to have a break but instead still in the class.

After recess ended, it was Social Studies it felt like so long i did not have social studies lesson and started to miss it.Alot. So we went throught the guide paper that Ms Rafiya had given us. Her lesson was ok. Along the way she started to change the subjects to our cca points and the subject relevant to get to polytechnic. She regretted it ever since because after that some of them started to count their points. Shockingly, the class was extremely quiet during her lesson and that guy Saiful was eating in her class.haha.

Zul and Ai leen was like talking about Saiful saying he can even eat in class right after recess and how come teacher did not even know.Well thing was that he covered his face with the answer paper. Then he decided to just put it down and just eat infront of her. Ms Rafiya was teaching at that point of time and she looked at Saiful,and the rest all stared at him.Suddenly the room was full of laughter,everyone laughed looking at him eating, i guess it was because he ate in front of the teacher.i think.

Ms Rafiya: Saiful ar, nevermind i let you eat. Why you have gastric is it?

Saiful nodded. Then Ms Rafiya went back to her lesson but said this before she started," we were only able to do this in the 70s".

So the lesson went on until it end.It felt like just a few minutes. Then it was Maths. Started on Matrices today and i was glad that it was an easy topic.Her lesson were not as dry as it used to be and i now trying my best to concentrate on her lesson and not give her a hard time.

Well it was finally the end of school for this week but i got MT remedial which i skipped. It start at 1 pm but here i am typing this blog. I guess i feel that i will not learn anything during the remedial so i decided to skip and study at home. So gotta go now and study.

Bon voyage!

Mrs Oh birthday!

2009-02-05T16:09:00.000+10:00

It was fun! i had the most fun time ever. Though i had limited time organising her birthday about 3 days, it turn out quite well.Yes i admit it was tough, trying to organise this kind of stuff but it was fun since everyone co-operate with me. Well the rest of the photos is in my album go check out. I thought it would be a disaster as we did not had much time to discuss about it.

Ky,Jannah,Fitri,Zul and me went to my house straight after school to take the cake. Then i decided to buy mrs oh a drink that will cure her throat since yesterday i bought one herbal tea which tasted disgusting. It tasted like prune then it was sweet with a weird smell. So i decided to buy her water chestnut instead. Then we went school hoping not to bee spotted by her or else the whole surprise will be ruin.

Then we went class and started to plan how it was going to be. Some suggested that we put the cake at the other class,5N2 so that teacher won't find out and that we surprise her in class. But she was actually late for our remedial and we started to worry that maybe she forgotten so me,ky and aileen went to every class to look for her. Yet she was no where to be found.

Then sudden;y i turned and found out that she was just 1 feet away from me. I panicked then ky also and she ran in class shouting "she come already,she come already" in chinese. Erwin and gang did not believe us because we had been doing that several times.

Too bad this time it was for real! And everybody panicked. Erwin,Ming Yang and Lettice started to babbled all kind of stuffs that they do not even know what there were saying. The rest of us we preparing the cake in the class and zul had difficultly taking out the cake from the grey cabinet which was pile up with all our books and files. Then we lighted the candle,we only put one since we were not sure of her age.

Then Erwin appeared out from the crystal clear window and said," Are you guys done". Then i was sure she knew what we were up to. Then they open up the door and everyone sang her the birthday song. Go find out at my video section and plus Jannah birthday wish.

We took half an hour just taking photo and mrs oh looked the same in every one of them. I don't know how she does that. Well then Fitri and Zul cut the cake while she open up her presents, there was only two. One was from all of us the picture we took wishing her happy birthday. The other was from me,ky,lydia and jannah and we split buying her a pink cheer bear which was a character in care bears. Since she like colours we bought her that which has rainbow colours on its tummy.

We all ate the cake. My classmates gave me all the credits but i felt that everyone of them had contributed too in her birthday. So thanks guys for making this happen. Thanks alot. Lucky the cake taste ok and without nuts which she is allergic to. Not bad but it was all chocolate. They cut a very big piece for her. She was surprised she said she could not finish that much but we were bad saying that it is her birthday so she much eat more.haha.

Most of us said on the tables and she sat with us as well.First time i see a teacher sitting on the table. Then we all started to chat about things.We talked about lettice's twin sister,then about Mrs Oh's husband. Then we asked her if she ever suspected that we were planning her birthday.

Well she didn't until she found out how unusual for everyone standing outside and blocking her from entering the class.This is what she said from what i remembered.

Mrs Oh: I was surprised, I thought you guys wanted remedial then when i reach, erwin and the others started to babble until they don't know what to say and just stumble on words alot.

Well i could see she was happy and i was too. She kept saying thank you to us. It was my honour to do this since i was also her physic rap and it was going my last year in zhenghua so i wanted to keep all the best memories of zhenghua.

Most of them left after chatting so only left a few of us. Me, ky,zul,lydia and jannah. We just kept on chatting with her till she had to go to her red cross cca.

I will ALWAYS loved this day and remember it forever.Though i had problems organising this, i want to thank all the people who made this happen especially kiong huat and anthony who paid and did not turned up because they just wanted to contribute and left the cake so that we all could have a bigger share.

THANKS Y'ALL! HAPPY BIRTHDAY MRS OH! YOU"RE THE BEST!

MY life

2009-02-04T18:06:00.000+10:00

These are all the photos of my lovely cat! Meow!,Well i will type this blog as my cat point of view.

Meow!I'm May,purr.purr. My owner is Sharizah. I've have been living with her since i was born. Never knew who my mother was.purr.purr. But i am lucky to have humans as my family. I have a human mother,father brother and sister which is my owner. I love my family alot!MEOW!.

I am a black and white cat with patches of tabby. My fur is alot so i always get my owner sick.hehe. The picture on the left is me! of course it's me i am so cute like my owner!That is what she like to say about herself.

Well i was force to wear this purple cardboard hat that my owner made me wear one day. I did not like to wear hats but for her sake i did. I did not know why she made me wear it. Then after a week,she came home running happily.

Do you know why??? I won her $20 popular voucher and she treat me with good food.yeah!

I love to sleep with my owner very much but at night, sometimes she tends to accidentally kick me.Ouch! My tender body!.So i decided to steal one of her shoebox at her room, it was small and i always loves to think that i am always petite that i could fit in any shoebox.

I was wrong! See the second photo, after few days sleeping there, it torn.But i will sleep there from now on cause i feel comfortable until i am cold at night then i sleep with my owner and she will always wrap her blanket around my body and i feel so warm and there she was shivering but i cannot grab the blanket to give to her because of my paws, it is so small i can only run and play using my paws.

Well thats it that i wanted to say.So

Chiao!

Meow!

NOW ENGLISH LESSON!

2009-02-04T10:16:00.000+10:00

Now is English lesson!. Well got to write about Mr Wee and Miss Natalie. Done that but will write with more details.

Honestly, i was surprised to get Mr Wee this year because i was so attached with Ms Feng since last year, so when it was my first day of school and we got a new teacher i was sad. But he entered our class with very hyperactive energy. It was so funny and plus all his jokes we laughed non stop. It has changed my mind about him ever since that lesson. I have learned to accept him as my english teacher. Lessons has always been interesting ever since.

Firstly, he had told us all the tips of writing essays which other english teachers had never told us. He also like to joke around and entertain us in class so that we are never bored. But most of the time we do essays so pretty we learned the same thing and we only know him for two weeks excluding today. So there is still so much to learn from him.

Then for that month of january, A relief teacher took over him. She was once a Zhenghua student here. She was ok. Well my first expression of her was she looked as if she was a happy go lucky person and funny too. Well there is one thing about her i found that was cute. She has a very,very high pitch sound.Ok somehow or rather it was irritating at times,but then got used to it after a week teaching the class. But then the most thing that i do not like during her english lesson was presentation. It was so troublesome and i do not really understand much when other students read the passage and tried to explain the meaning. I might as well let Miss Natalie do all the talking and we just lesson. Like the way Mr Wee does it.

Well what have i learnt in the past month??? I learned a lot of things as usual. If i exclude my other subjects, then i learn quite a bit. I had learn how to write essays and how to write it well. For example, I learn at we have to express the thoughts and feelings of the characters in the essays and also include DETAILS! That is the word he loves to say. Also not forgetting to write all the 5 senses in. For Ms Natalie case, i learned the exact same case but i learned something extra that was using songs and finding quotes with meaning to write in the essays.

Well i did not know that Mr Wee is such a great teacher. Now that i have, I will make an effort to do well for english.A1 here i come!

nothing......

2009-02-03T20:05:00.000+10:00

Sharizah (19) 5N1

Well today let's talk about something else. Stress as always i was so moody until Mdm Howe don't dare to disturb me during cme lesson. I got mood swing due to some reasons. Then went for my study group and i destress myself by doing physics. Then taught sec 2 student maths. Nothing much to say today because it is always the same thing. But there was something different today. Met with my friend,Dan, to talk to our frriend who has been missing from school since the school opening. Well gave him our side of view if he still don't head for our advice their is nothing much we can do.

So pretty much i cannot be bothered anymore i just want to concentrate on myself. But then i have been lacking on my studies and could not finish all my homeworks. I better work on my time management.

Stress,stress,stress. Chiao.

today...

2009-02-02T18:05:00.002+10:00

Today was ok, finish with my twilight book now going to start with few pages from the new moon. Well i dreamt a really weird thing today, I dreamt that i had the bought the car which i had always wanted that was an air car. Then my mates wanted to ride with me to school so on that day we wanted to ride the car but i had forgotten that i left at school. very lame i know. I am still schooling at zhenghua at this point. So my mates and i decided to travel by foot somehow however, we walk through the dark forest and i ended up losing two of my mates and now left with one which was ky. Then i was walking with then she went missing as well. I don't know why but i didn't went looking for them instead i rushed to school,finding them that they already there but i was late. then mdm lee was there to take all the latecomers' name. I tried to escape from there and rushed to my physics lesson. When i reached there mrs oh why i was late, i tried to answer her but i started to vomit blood and then fainted. In the end i woke up never knew what happen next. I was like what a dream no link with my friends going missing nor with me fainted.

Ok now back to reality, it was really physics lesson today, it was great as usual. Whatever was taught i understood. Then she showed us the transverse waves and zuhairi record it on the phone go check out i already put it online. She was not even angry that he filmed her though she told him several times not to film her in a very ''paiseh'' and funny way. She is so cute must go check out and we even forced her to tell us when is our birthday. It is this coming friday and some of our classmates is going to give her a surprise.

Then she ended the class a bit late and i was helping her collecting the papers and she pass me and said," sorry sharizah that you can't go to your next class". i said it was ok then out of no where one of my classmate shouted" nevermind cher she also don't like the teacher" i was like so embarrassed but the good thing is that mrs oh already knew that.So there was nothing for me to worry about.

Then i went slowly to my another class and she was walking behind me and commented on lydia bag. She said what a nice bag and then i told her it was like $200. Her face so surprised, i mean who wouldn't be.I could use that money to buy me lots of clothes(no offend lydia)haha. Mt class ended slower then i thought. Learn about the forma to letter and we all realise that she taught us differently compared to the rest of our teachers her mathods differs and we don't even know which is the correct want. I also don't care.

Then it was poa. forgotten to bring my book keeping again luckily she didn't know. And at last she did not forgot to bring our test papers actually she forgotten but jac reminded her and she had to walk back to the staff room to get it.Haha jac so bad,anyway who told her not to bring we reminded her like 5 times already and she really headed our advise that she should not be so NICE to those students who just can't be bothered with their studies. Erm didn't think she would actually listen to us. Then she went trough our hws and all of us were like so blur.

Then finally recess time, so hungry. Ate my sandwich and thought that i wanted to read the new moon book but i started to chat with my friends.They were like gossipping about you know who better not mention her name or my head will be chop off.

Then geog.Yeah!.I love geog! Mdm Howe so funny she always make the lesson so enjoyable. though somehow or rather our class is surrounded with dirty minded guys and they like to relate geog stuff to those dirty kinds of thinking and the good thing is that mdm howe also will joke around with those lame joke too. Then we had to do evaluative qn which is one of the most boring thing to do but those who finish fast can do whatever they want and i decided to ask her about the angmo that i saw with her family during the chinese new year. She told us that was her brother in law.so good. Then i start to ask those ridiculous qn like how her sister get angmo and everything.It was so lame. So she told us all the story, her sister met him through working, got two kids, her brother in law may look like angmo from the outside but inside he is like chinese. He like chinese food and everything. Then their two kids,one speak with an accent while the other did not and both are quite good in their chinese but they have problems pronouncing certain word.We talk to her until her class ended. It was great.

Then english time!. Mr Wee finally back from his trip to (i forgotten where) but anyway everyone was excited about it.Erm he told us to start writing on our blog and the first thing is to write about our RT. I've already done that so thats it. He gave our compo back and i was like confirm fail,fail,fail cause every paper he gave back most of them fail so i had no confident at all but surprisingly i got 50/100 though it is not a good great it is good for a first timer.His lesson was only half an hour so there is nothing much that can be covered during this time.

Well i'm looking forward to physics,,geog and cme tommorrow!and also Mrs Oh birthday, hope to give her the best surprise.so don't tell her ya.

why...is it always seem the same way

2009-02-01T15:00:00.000+10:00

My head keep on spinning throughout this whole week. Though i look fine from the outside but from the inside it hurts. What do i keep thinking about?why does it hurt this much? There are millions of electrons flowing in my small brain which made me can't think straight. Yes i admit i have mood swing nowadays cause of my hurting head so don't get offended if i am sort of rude or just can't be bothered. I'm sorry. I just can't take this head ace,it is like it cannot be cure with all the piling homeworks, the stress life i'm living and keep thinking things. All these confuses me. I don't know what will happen,why i am trying so hard to be top.Somehow it doesn't matter to me anymore but a part of me can't let it go.

I want to be perfect, perfect,perfect but no matter how hard i try i will never succeed.Aargh...I hate myself when i am like this, i just couldn't think straight.Why is life miserable?that is what my crazy member always says. I don't know i guess i agree with her.

I want to do lots of things but i feel so weak,lousy and useless. Though i know i could always share my burden with my members, there are just certain things i just can't describe it in words.How??? I am so ashamed of myself with things i had done. The nighmare keeps haunting me. My head won't stop circling me.

I have my friends, i know they are there forever,my family who always be there for me sometimes and my teachers who who comfort me. So why do i feel this way?i dont' know.

Do i need a change maybe? do i need a bf to get me through all this??maybe not i can always live without one so long i have my mates. So why does my head still hurt so much.

It is slowing my learning progress, i'm afraid if i ever fall behind of class,and i am those type who just don't like to ask for help even though i need help so badly.

I just want to find that one thing. Something which will stop all these pain. I am not writing this blog so i could get some sense of pity, i am just expressing my emotions, my feeling to the rest.who may or may not experience it before me.

I just want to be........

weekend

2009-01-31T16:08:00.000+10:00

It was 30 degree Celsius today, the sky was cloudless blue. I woke up early in the morning and went to Sheng Shiong with my parents. Bought some necessities and food for the day. I went home just in time to go out to ky house. Ate a lot at her house and even got red packet from her mom.

Then me,jac and ky went to popular at Bukit Panjang to visit our colleagues and I bought milk tea for my department. I even got red packet from my department(so good). Bought the new moon book and eclipse which she let me to have first. Other customers reserved the rest. Stayed there for quite some time to chat. Then we walked around there for a while afterwards there was nothing else to see so we all went home.

At home, I started back on my reading. Read it till it was 7 plus. Now I am going start on my homeworks and revision on my other weaker subjects.

Friday at last

2009-01-31T00:30:00.003+10:00

Today was ok. Eng was 3 periods,wow so long. Natalie went through the compo by Sarah Chan, despair. It was a torture.I was so hungry that i open up the crackers that i took from Mrs Yeo last week which i still had not even touch. Then everytime she turned her head i would just throw pieces of the crackers into my mouth. She ended the class pretty well by letting us listen to a song,the man that cannot moved. Even she admitted that she like our class compared to the rest.Erm i was just wondering, many teachers like our class but i don't know why, we are so noisy and always irritate our teachers.
Finally it was recess,by then i forgotten that i was actually hungry as i was so into my twilight book.again. Then it was Chem.My fav.I noticed i have no problem expressing my feelings in the class. I am more open minded and i don't even mind coming up to write the answer on the board even though i know i have the wrong answer. I guess it is because sciences are my forte.

My mood spoil as math subject approached. She came to class with an attitude(no offend). She always look sick and having headache everytime she come to class and her face shows us that she don't even have the mood to teach us. More worse, we were studying new topics and most of us don't get it but she is not slowing down, she just keep on going until she finish the chapter, she starting on new chapter next week trying to follow mdm loh style, but she should realise not all of us are that clever to catch up like the A math students.

But then i don't blame her, everyone has their own problems and stress, and i understood though i do feel the pinch of anger everytime if it was her lesson because i blame myself for not having a brain that operate faster like the other better students. Why am i slow?why aren't i clever enough? I always ask that questions.I always blame myself for not getting better results which i know i could get.Haiz what to do, i am already putting my 100% effort on everything but i guess it is still not enough.

Anyway came home straight after school,forgotten to buy some treats for my cat,so i went to the shopping centre with my mom.Bought my cat favorite food,anchovies and parsley. Went home and put it on my bed and she was the first one to jump and eat it, but then i grab it back telling her at night then she is able to eat it so i kept the food with me till night time when i cut the parsley for her.put all the ingredients in her bowl,parsley,anchovies and tuna biscuits which i had bake a day before. Well she ate as if she have not eaten for ages but left the biscuit untouched.I guess it is normal since whatever i had cooked or bake none of my family wants to try it,so i guess it is the same for my cat.Then i let her wear a hat which i had made.i just love doing that.But she kept looking in the different direction so i could not get a good shot.

OK thats it for today,tml i'm going to my friend house celebrating chinese new year.so good night.

FInally a VERY long story.P.S Mr Wee plz comment

2009-01-29T21:11:00.005+10:00

Sorry i did not update my blog for quite some time, i was busy. Just got back from Batam a few days ago and it was terrible. Will give you more details during the weekends when i am free. But anyway, today was a very interesting lesson. To start off with was our Chemistry lesson during our first period. We gotten a chance to do some experiment(at last after 3 years) on the chemical reaction stuff.Well first more than half the class got almost all the answers wrong,haha even me. We thought that we were suppose to identify the unknown solution but wasn't it instead the solution which we suppose to identify was the ones at the side of our tables.Ok after that it was english,1 period only,hmm... i realise i have not even write a single thing about our new relief teacher though our former one ask us too. Well she's not bad, i did learn something when she was here.i understand better now on how i am suppose to express the thoughts and feelings in the composition but the most part that i hated was presenting, it was humiliating.I was so nervous that i stumble on the words as i red. Today we listen to a meaningful song from kelly clarkson on the title because of you, which nicholas sent in,so weird a guy sent that song. Anyway Natalie let us listen to the song and told us that there are alot of good phrases that are found in songs which we can also use to write in our composition. It expresses the thoughts and the feelings which is a good thing, so today pretty much i am going to spend some time to listen to songs and write good phrases down.MUST get A1. After that it was recess and i was so addicted to my twilight book, can't stop reading it. Then it was POA,BORING. Die, if mrs goh found out i said that,too bad i already wrote it down.As usually she forgotten to bring back our test papers again,purposely again,lol. It was because of some people did not take the test that is why she was unable to bring the papers back to return to us. Then it was Physic, we were all looking forward to it,everyone was like ''quick 5 more mins to phy'', then mrs goh ask who was our physic teacher, i think she felt hurt that we like Mrs Oh lesson instead of hers. OK blah,blah,blah. When our physic teacher arrived,we were damn noisy,she was like so angry but afterwards cool down. I can't help it but stare at here beautiful shiny golden highlighted hair,her nice concave haircut and her stunning body(i'm so embrassed saying this),but she is so gorgeous too,like some other teachers in our school. I guess i am honoured to be her physic rap though i am such a lousy one,haha hardly help her in anything but she always give me double sweets than the rest that's what i like alot. I guess she is fun to talk to and my classmates like her so much, she still treat us like kids but in the good way that everytime we point out the mistakes that the others make she will give us sweets. It was so funny just now cause she was demonstrating the intermolecular thing and ask saiful,zuhairi and xue yao to come up. Then they have to 'hentak kaki' meaning stamp their feet, and it looked so wrong.It was so funny that tears started to drip from my eyes and my whole face turn red.Then after physic was another BORING lesson. It was MT.never like the lesson since i was a kid,cause i don't learn anything and all the teachers aren't like my english-related subjects where the teachers are able to joke around and help students and even try to understand them. But i felt it was only MT that i don't feel that way.I don't feel invited so i have never like the lesson.Erm better not talk terrible things about her or to the blue room i go. Well MT lesson per usual, don't learn a single darn thing, and she called my name to stand up and read,i was like what the hell.why me, aren't there someone else in the class good at reading,who don't mind volunteering themselves.I was so piss off that,straight after MT i just quickly get out off the room anyway i always do that, i am always the first one to leave the room.Then i went to the toilet for a while and came out from there,some boys from N3 were like cat calling me and i was like"hello i am not interested and am disgusted by you" but i said it in my heart. And i heard they say i was like so action or something but i don't care, and i hate guys behaving so childish,already sec 5 behaving like this,this childish like behaviour is not in my vocabulary and will never will. Ok back to the last lesson of the day,it was GEOG. Geog is fun but there is nothing else to learn, done with the syllabus already. Then Mdm Howe talk about her japanese breed dog,Kanzo (wrong spelling i think) it was so sad that it died. I never knew that she was a dog lover. We talk about her dog was because of the trees that we were studying the christmas trees which has the needle like leaves, and her dog ate it.After geog,we,jac,ky and zul took a break at the canteen, and we had lunch. My food was disgusting, i am sick of the food that is provided by our school because it is the same thing since i started schooling here and i was sick of it that is why i bring my own food. Then we studied at our usual place that was near the bookshop area. Many teachers know that that was the place where we always sits. Then we saw Mrs John, the full time counsellor and she was going home, she always will leave her bag with us to sign out in the general office,but today after she sign out, she was going to pick her bag and said "since you guys has been good to me i am going to give you something" at first i thought it was just sweets which teachers always give us but it was not, i was so shocked that she took out an EXPENSIVE chocolate, which named was Lindt and every teacher that walked past noticed it.I was so grateful to Mrs John as i never expected anything in return.I still got picture of it as an evidence. Ya so anyway, throughout the whole time at the study group, we were talking,mostly chit chatting.But it was still related to out subjects,we were talking about s.s at first on the SBQ questions. Then suddenly change to different topic, we started to talk about the good phrases found in story book. I even recommended Mrs Goh certain books such as the notebook, a walk to remember by nicholas sparks, and Zul recommended Jodi Picolt, because she saw us reading the twilight book which she herself was into it.Then we offered her some chocolates but she didn't want some,she was so afarid of carbs.Aiyo, it is just fats. Then we were talking about certain stuffs that only mature people talk about and Zul and i had a hard time explain certain stuff to jac and ky.But we had fun,well i had fun mostly.Ok then at 5 plus we went home and i went with my mom to the fajar shopping centre, shop for a while then go home. Then i started on rewriting my notes which i had copied earlier on and now i am tying this blog, it took me about 1 hour to finish,whoa so long. Ok gotta go, i want to get ready things for my cat's bdae.It is going to be a surprise, her bdae is tml. so i still got so many things to prepare.Bon Voyage( Sorry i did not check my spelling error since i type so long and lazy to check for any)

my cat

2009-01-24T23:55:00.001+10:00

Well my cat's birthday is coming up soon. I don't even know what i should buy for her. To some people she is just a stray cat with black and white spot and patches of tabby but to me she is like my sister and part of my family although we got her from her mother which is a stray. Though i realise we have not given her much,,she had never ask for anything.I guess cats are understanding, they don't care if their owners are rich or poor,all they ever ask for is comfort, shelter and LOVE. I owe that to my cat,May, the only cat that i will ever have. We don't realise things until they are gone. How they serve us the purpose, the reason of which we ourselves don't get.The days that i had ignored her and concentrating on my games and watching new movies, the time i was lazy to even pick up her poo because i just wanted to lie on my bed or even at cold dreadful nights her tiny body and soft fur shivered and i did not even share my large thick blanket with her. Now i have change i know that it was my wrong doing not hers and never did she once blame it on me. She would always come back to me to give me some love by rubbing her head by the side of my legs. She even slept with me on my bed at night and kept me company so that i would never be alone. Never once she missed to wake me up in the morning for school. I appreciate all that she has done,how i wish i know how to repay her.How i hoped she would just live forever and gone at the same time as we do.

Problems

2009-01-21T22:41:00.003+10:00

I know everyone has their own problems
But they have to know how to handle it
they have to be strong
i was once fragile but not anymore
i learn to be tough. i no longer being take advantage of.
But i fear for someone, someone whom i care for as a friend
I hope you read this
I hope you make the right decision
Whatever we talk about is kept
No worries, you can always look out for me if you in need
I know you, you can be better
You just need time to solve it
You don't have to be stress because of IT cause i was once like you
I even wanted to commit suicide
But i didn't
Because i knew that people around me still cares
So does your parents
Though you don't get them sometimes you can always look out for ur gf
She may understand
if not i am always around,ALWAYS
Don't worry so much as you still have friends supporting you through whatever decision you make.
Whatever decision that you make i will respect it no matter what
All the best to you!Hope you get well soon

I want to led my own life!

2009-01-19T00:08:00.002+10:00

why can't she understand me. I am a human being too, i have feelings like any other. She did not have to lie to me just to make me follow where she wanted me to go. But then i can never be angry with her for so long as i knew that she is who she is. I guess she just wants my company but she don't know the way to do it. Though i always let it pass, i still love her and will always do.

English

2009-01-14T22:26:00.002+10:00

Today english lesson was fun! Mr Wee is great, he is such a funny teacher and with lots of jokes to entertain us. Anyways he says that having a blog is a good thing but it only benefit us if we use proper english when typing so, i am trying that now and hopefully that i could type good english and score A for english?? haha by the way, i will try to update more often though. and pretty much tell my story as a first account person. well happy reading!

STRESS!

2009-01-11T21:39:00.003+10:00

It has only been for a week and i already feeling the stress. My homeworks are piling up and i have been having troubles coping with it.what am i suppose to do? No matter what i have to catch up, i refuse to be left behind! I have to get my name on the banner no matter what. But i can't even cope now what about in a few months time??Haiz even my members are feeling the tension. The only way now is to support each other.There is nothing else we can do.

2009-01-11T21:07:00.002+10:00

My anger starts to get the grip of me.why i thought for a moment, one am i this way.why can't i be like any other. is this my vengeance?.i feel so frail and worthless. Things also start to swirl in my head. My mind keeps wandering around. My life are hopeless but somehow somewhere,there a light in every path, a glow which can solve my struggle. My associates is all i require, they are the ones that i could always look for when im feeling dishearten. I know that i can count on them for eternity.They will at all times remain here in my heart.

didn't post for quite some time

2008-12-29T00:36:00.003+10:00

Been very busy lately with my stuff.
Making my new year solution today.
FOR 2009 NEW YEAR RESOLUTION

1) GET 7 POINTS FOR O LEVELS
2) VOLUNTEER AT SPCA OR HOME FOR THE AGED
3) DONATE TO CHARITY ONCE PER MONTH
4) SAVE A DOLLAR EVERYDAY FOR STUDIES
5) SAVE A DOLLAR PER DAY FOR GIVING TO MUM AND CHARITY
6) STUDY EXTREMELY HARD FOR O AND IMPROVE ON MT LANGUAGE
7) LEARN TO ORGANISE THINGS BETTER AND BE A MORE LIKEABLE PERSON
8) LEARN TO BE MORE UNDERSTANDING AND PATIENCE
9) LEARN ABOUT MY INNER SELF AND EVERYTHING ELSE
10)EARN MY PLACE IN PARADISE.

didn

2008-12-29T00:36:00.000+10:00

My results

2008-12-19T12:41:00.002+10:00

Well finally i got my results yesterday, wasn't at all nervous, i don't why.
when when it was my turn to take then i felt nervous all i wanted is get good grades and promote to sec 5.Those who thought i could not make it u'all are wrong. I don't need my MT to pass but i did anyways haha.Got 5 points exactly, the goal that i wanted and dream of. Well i better work hard next year and better get my name on the banner cause that is my dream and goal.Well good luck to all who are coming back next year. Work hard ya!

goals for next year.

2008-12-08T00:11:00.002+10:00

WELL TODAY, MY MUM AND DAD SET ME A GOAL. FINALLY.
WELL THEY NEVER EXPECT FROM ME MUCH.
1) MY MUM'S GOAL IS FOR ME TO JUST BE A BETTER HUMAN BEING. THATS ALL.
2) MY DAD'S GOAL IS FOR ME TO STUDY HARD.
WELL I FINALLY SAW THAT THE PIECES OF PUZZLES IN MY LIFE IS COMING TOGETHER.
MY LIFE IS FINALLY COMING TO REAL, I UNDERSTAND NOW, WHY, WHAT, I WAS SUPPOSE TO DO, WHAT MY PURPOSE ARE.
BECAUSE OF MY FAMILY, IT KEPT ME STRONG, TAUGHT ME NEVER TO CROSS THE LINE.
THEY TAUGHT ME EVERYTHING,I BOW TO THEM FOR THEIR HARDWORK AND CARE.
I LUV THEM, IF I EVER HAVE TO START LIFE ALL OVER AGAIN, I WILL NEVER CHANGE A THING IN MY LIFE.
I WANT SAME MUM, DAD, BRO, FAMILY AND FRIENDS.

hey

2008-12-07T13:23:00.001+10:00

please go to my business blog, just updated yesterday. new stocks come and look

please support me

2008-11-26T16:39:00.000+10:00

I am opening up a new business on http://crosstitchandothers.blogspot.com/
Please take a look for new items