after years I finally I understand

We like to fight over small things. And when one of us are wrong, neither of us want to admit. Our relationship used to be like a roller coaster for this whole 17+ years of my life. We had our ups and downs. And always end up not talking to each other. We would scream at each other for the smallest matter in life. But now, after 17 years I finally understood her.

There was a reason why she did not let me find a job, earn money by myself or go overseas to study. She was afraid. She was so scare that her children going to leave her. She could not let go. I used to be mad at her for not letting me go and make decision own my own. But after thinking about it, I felt bad, I should have known better. She loves me.

Now I know, she told me her feelings which she had kept for years. For example, her heart breaks when she see me working for money. She thinks that I am too young to work and she can still provide me. But when Im older, I still have to work right. Thats what I told her. But she say now Im too young, she dont want to see me working for money because she still can work. But I dont want to be a burden to her, thats the reason I work so I can provide her as well and be more independent.

I guess a mother's love is the strongest love ever in this world and people should know it sooner. But it only made me realise now. After 17 years... How stupid is that.